Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Create a Connection-"Challenge to Stretch"

1a. What is one thing about your body that you hate, deny, talk trash about?
My tummy because since my rear went south I need smaller jeans which creates the famous dunlop disease ( tummy lops over your belt).
1b. What can you do to make friends with this part and show it a little love?
Buy bigger jeans while looking like I have a load in my butt or I can see it as a trophy for two births and good food. Wear elastic and set it free ;)
2a. What is one thing about your home that doesn't feel good?
My current home has single pane windows and was built in 1961, so it's freezing.
2b. What is one thing you can do to change that?
I'm moving this summer which is way out of my comfort zone. I'll be warmer :)
3a. Is there a relationship that you have difficulty with?
My father has always been in my life but not emotionally. I call him ghost dad because he was there, but not there and I call him every so often to check in. I only have him and my brother left, but my brother is like my dad.
3b. What is something small you can do to either salvage it or come to terms with the way it is now?
I came to terms with my family years ago. I guess you can't miss what you never had. It's something I wish I had but understand it's just who they are. I feel adopted and yet because of it I'm still not a family person.
4a. Is there something you are afraid to do, but would like to try it?
I grew up on ski's and would like to try disabled skiing, but the cold might effect the ALS.
4b. What can you do to begin a plan to try it?
I'm moving near Tahoe, so I can go during the week, on a sunny day and sit ski. If I get cold I'm close to home and they have a variety of disabled opportunities.
To visit other Create A Connection answers visit here

Poertry Thursday - "No Names, Please"

We have been asked to write a poem about the thing we find most beautiful in the world without giving away what that thing is. A person, place or thing ;)

You dwell within my heart
patiently waiting
for lessons yet to be learned
watching proudly
as my purpose is fulfilled

I am welcomed with love’s
overwhelming peace
reunited with those I’ve lost
in joyful exhilaration
with new eyes I finally see

Surrounded by endless majesty
weightless with wonder
landscapes of cherished fantasies
Senses come alive
Filling me with every answer

My journey will continue on
leaving all desires behind
A piece of you was always there
in every sunrise and sunset
bringing hope to carry me home

To see other poems visit Poetry Thursday
Photo from StockXpert

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Self Portrait Challenge- "Black & White" Glam

I let my oldest have free reign over my last B & W self-portrait for February. I wanted to try glamorous this week but I found at 45 I had forgotten what hard work that actually is. The make up and hair was easy enough because I just sat there and let her go. She had to mention how hard it is to put make up on eyes with lots of wrinkles though, as she stretched my eyes into my ears. The hard part was getting that glam feel in my face for the shot. If I looked serious, I looked pissed and if I smiled, it was too much. I just finally said I'll work with what I have so far and photo shop I did!

This was my family's pick but I did not see glam...sorry guys!

This is me being a smart ass while Michelle was frustrated at my lack of a sexy look. I told her it's hard to look sexy for my daughter. The one where I stuck out my tongue I deleted but this one I kept for her :)
To see other B&W self portraits go here

Monday, February 26, 2007

One Deep Breath - "Color(ful)" Haiku

Clouds parting the sky
sun pushing its way through grey
rainbow creates hope

For more color haiku visit One Deep Breath
Photo from StockXpert

Saturday, February 24, 2007

Sunday Scribbling - "Puzzled"

I'm very puzzled and quite frankly shocked over a few news reports I've heard lately. They are issues that are killing our children and putting our whole country at risk. They are issues that are close to my heart because they are hurting my own children and their future. Obesity, Education and Government are giant snowballs rolling across our country, as we step out of its way, watching it just roll by.

I have a daughter who is overweight to the point of it being a danger to her health. It started when she turned eighteen but as most overweight people know it's more about emotional issues than about the food. Her self-esteem is so low that I would say she was depressed and rarely leaves the house. It's a very sensitive subject, I can't bring up unless asked, which is very rare. It breaks my heart that she is in pain and she is not alone.

Latest Obesity Statistics
USA Obesity Rates Reach Epidemic Proportions
58 Million Overweight; 40 Million Obese; 3 Million morbidly Obese
Eight out of 10 over 25's Overweight
78% of Americans not meeting basic activity level recommendations
25% completely Sedentary
76% increase in Type II diabetes in adults 30-40 yrs old since 1990

I heard we are 17th out of 22 nations on our educational report card. How in the hell does the most powerful nation in the world rank so low? Yes we have power but will we keep it if we continue to ignore our educational status. I read a statistic that 38% of our kids hate school, teachers are still under paid while getting little help from parents. Many parents are raising kids with a since of entitlement (whole different rant) and not teaching them to earn what they want. Colleges are raising tuitions for the kids that desire an education, while government cuts scholarship funding. I should not be puzzled that we are 17th, but I am.

The US government is very important in securing the stability of our country in the world. The majority of our young people are not even voting and think most politicians are corrupt. I'm puzzled as to why no one can run without getting sucked into the political games. They can tell you about Brittney Spears but not about who's running for president. Can't some one step up to the plate and inspire our young people to care? Be a real hero for our country. If many of you don't like Bush, can you imagine who will run this country when these kids grow up and don't vote. Can we afford to elect another "politician"?

The media is raising a generation of kids who seem to have lost hope and the country seems to have lost its moral compass. I'm puzzled, where are the good guys to help us find our way.

To read other scribbles on puzzled visit here

Friday, February 23, 2007

Create a Connection

It seems like yesterday we had a wedding here.

How can I leave my view

Getting to Know You

I had to do this because I'm a big fan of the "Actor's Studio" on Bravo. You're really not suppose to think about your answers for too long on the show, so neither did I. Finally my little part of California got some snow but with it came a very COLD power outage that went from the middle of night until 11am. I think I've finally defrosted enough to do this ;)

1. What is your favorite word? Delicious
2. What is your least favorite word? No
3. What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally? My close relationships.
4. What turns you off? Selfish people
5. What is your favorite curse word? Dipshit is one that works for me but I've used them all. It's weird that I swear more around people who swear. Does that mean secretly I like it? Hmmm
6. What sound or noise do you love? Dave laughing out loud just tickles me, even if I think it's not funny.
7. What sound or noise do you hate? Dave's 3am alarm clock that he puts across the room so he is forced to get up. It's a cheap one that has a loud beep, beep, beep!
8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? I'd love to work with kids living in homes with a chronic illness.
9. What profession would you not like to do? Mortician or Medical Examiner.
10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
You did good kid and your grandma Margie is waiting right over there.
To see other connections go here

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Poetry Thursday - "The Body Knows"

The Body Knows

The body knows
when it’s time for life to burst forth
nesting in adrenalin high
racing to the finish line
water gushing
crowning glory

The body knows
when it’s time to blossom and grow
racing hormones reacting
stretching skin to curves
always searching
wanting more

The body knows
when something is not right inside
brain messages blocked
body fumbles to stay
weakening limbs
awakens faith

The body knows
When your time on earth is done
breathing begins to rattle
organs slither away
acceptance forced
eternity begins

By Tammy2007
To see other poetry visit Poetry Thursday

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Self Portrait Challenge- "Black & White"

Dove rolled out a campaign using models of all shapes and sizes in their underwear. This year they rolled out a campaign showing the beauty of more mature women in tastefully done nude ads. I love that they are celebrating the beauty and sexiness of real women. In my SPC I thought I'd join in by showing that a 45 year old disabled woman can be beautiful and sexy too ;)

This is me with my hubby's workshirt and boots on. I hate the perception that walking badly or being in a wheelchair takes the focus away from being sexy. I may use a walker and talk like a drunk but I'll always remain sexy to Dave because I'm a woman first.

Monday, February 19, 2007

One Deep Breath - "Spices Fib"

enhancing flavor
dancing delicacies to taste


creating palette
cultures come together as one

To create a Fib: In essence, there are only 2 rules. The first rule is the sequence of syllables which is 1/1/2/3/5/8. The second rule is that no one-syllable lines can contain an article (the, a, la, le, etc.) That's it. The photo is from Stockxpert.

To view other fibs check out One Deep Breath

This Got My Attention!

#1. 75% of Americans are chronically dehydrated. (Likely applies to half the world population.) #2. In 37% of Americans, the thirst mechanism is so weak that it is mistaken for hunger.
#3. Even MILD dehydration will slow down one's metabolism as 3%.
#4. One glass of water will shut down midnight hunger pangs for almost 100% of the dieters studied in a University of Washington study.
#5. Lack of water, the #1 trigger of daytime fatigue.
#6. Drinking 5 glasses of water daily decreases the risk of colon cancer by 45%, plus it can slash the risk of breast cancer by 79% and one is 50% less likely to develop bladder cancer. Are you drinking the amount of water you should drink every day?

#1 The active ingredient in soda is phosphoric acid. It will dissolve a nail in about four days. Phosphoric acid also leaches calcium from bones and is a major contributor to the rising increase of osteoporosis.
#2 Caffeine dehydrates.
This blew my mind because I don't drink water. My ALS makes it easy to choke on water, my bladder is a weak muscle and going to the bathroom can be tiring (up, down with clothes and pulling body up and down). This makes all that seem trivial. Just because I have one illness does not mean I can't get another. I drink coffee in the morning and cold green tea during the day, all with caffeine that is dehydrating...YIKES! I thought you might not have known some of this.

Saturday, February 17, 2007

Sunday Scribbling - "Crush" First Crushes

David Cassidy

Bobby Sherman

Donny Osmond
When I think of a crush it takes me back to my youth where boys my age still had cooties. I didn't know back then that tugging on my pigtails and chasing me into the girls bathroom meant they actually liked me.
I preferred the older men that hung on my walls, as I laid on my red bean bag chair, while they sang love songs to me. I would cry into my pillow over my overwhelming love for them, as they stared at me with loving eyes from my Teenbeat magazines. I'd day dream about how we would meet while scribbling their name's in every slam book I wrote in. I wrote endless fan letters and when I received something back I truly believed it was written by them to me. Then I watched every TV show they were on, but was constantly interrupted by my little brother's endless teasing. He would hold his heart with both hands while batting his eye's saying "oh Donny, I love you!" I had to punch him every time it was at a commercial.
My mom actually let me go with a group of girls and their mom's to see Donny Osmond in concert. We were so far away he was 3 inches tall but we made absolute fools of ourselves during his big hit "Puppy Love." We never heard the song through our screaming and tears but we were sure he was singing to us. The moms must have been laughing hysterically. We left thinking that was the best day of our lives ;)
I'm not sure when I went from those crushes to chasing boys. Between my day dreams of teen idols and a Harlequin romance novel addiction the boys never really stood a chance. I dated too many jocks in high school...enough said! It really screwed up my chances to have a realistic relationship when I got older. My expectations were too high and my dreams of love were shattered. Now that I'm older and have lived a little, my days of crushes and dreams of knights on white horses are long gone. They have been replaced by real love and real life.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Poertry Thursday - "Prose"

Being new to poetry this weeks theme made me actually have to look up what prose is compared to poetry. I'm not sure I understand it completely but I found one I liked alot by Michael Benedikt from Night Cries.


At first it seemed as if it might just be the morning coffee again, boiling over on the stove again and overflowing from the percolator with its usual loud, scalding, scolding, disapproving hiss; but then after I ran into the kitchen I was relieved to see that the brown stain on the white porcelain had taken the form of a "splash"--which is to say it had taken the form of a circle with fringed edges, meaning that it was actually only just another form of water setting its seal of approval on solids. Do raindrops act any differently, I wondered as I turned down the flame--or do they too approve as they apply their pure, glueless, transparent stickers? Yes, I decided--even now as the morning coffee resumes its brewing, surely the dews are descending in all directions to award billions of blue ribbons of their own to everything firm; surely the sounds of rushing rivers flowing by are roars of applause for the solidity of terra firma; and surely the only reason why we do not regard the Oceans with all their thrashing waves as an unbearable daily threat, is that obviously they too closely resemble auditoriums full of crowds of people cheering and stamping feet....

The photo is from stock-xchng and to read other prose check out Poetry Thursday here

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Self Portrait Challenge- "Black & White"

Happy Valentine's Day! This is my wedding day just 3yrs ago on Tunnels beach in Kauai. It was an intimate ceremony at sunset where we were blessed with a double rainbow.

be my Valentine
happy anniversary Dave

One Deep Breath - "Shelter" Fibonacci Haiku

Fibonacci sequence is 1-1-2-3-5-8 with no articles (the,a, etc.). To read other wonderful haiku visit "One Deep Breath" here

oak tree
shelters life
awaiting springs thaw
knot holes filled, food dwindling
heart finds new spaces
sheltering from harshness in life

Monday, February 12, 2007

Our Pre-Anniversary Celebration

Dave survived and even enjoyed our first poetry reading...yeah! The historic hotel was very cool looking and was said to be haunted, so I'm thrilled we did not get a room. There were about 40 poetry lovers gathered in a room lit with crystal chandeliers with a young man thumping his Bass. There were candles and tables set up at the back of the room with sweet treats, coffee, wines from a local winery, poetry books for purchase and chocolate body frosting's ;)

Many of the "readers" read their own poetry while others read E.E. Cummings, Yates and my new favorite Billy Collins. There were funny poems and love poems but nothing that made Dave squirm. Many of them had flowers and nature which is Dave's style of poetry.

The dinner was fabulous in a separate dining room that had a romantic ambiance. Rose petals on the table cloth with a menu of roasted pepper bisque, hot & sassy rib eye with garlic mashed potatoes and veggies. Dessert was a trio of espresso mousse, white chocolate covered strawberries and triple layer chocolate cake with mango good! I had trouble eating but since everyone there knew I was disabled I sucked my soup through my straw from my coffee and let Dave feed me when the fork got too heavy. It looked romantic anyway ;) Real silverware is just too heavy so maybe I'll sneak in my plastic stuff from KFC next time. LOL

Dave and I would both do it again!

I'm behind in my comments due to Dave getting into a car accident. He is ok, thank you God! Life has a way of reminding you how quickly it can be taken away. Wake up call! DRIVE SLOWLY IN THE RAIN!

Thursday, February 08, 2007

Poertry Thursday- "Change"

This poem speaks to me and the profound change Dave's love has made to my life. Thirteen years of being alone with ALS and then the gift of love.

Love Letter

Not easy to state the change you made.

If I'm alive now, then I was dead,

Though, like a stone, unbothered by it,

Staying put according to habit.

You didn't just tow me an inch, no-

Nor leave me to set my small bald eye

Skyward again, without hope, of course,

Of apprehending blueness, or stars.

That wasn't it. I slept, say: a snake

Masked among black rocks as a black rock

In the white hiatus of winter-

Like my neighbors, taking no pleasure

In the million perfectly-chisled

Cheeks alighting each moment to melt

My cheeks of basalt. They turned to tears,

Angels weeping over dull natures,

But didn't convince me. Those tears froze.

Each dead head had a visor of ice.

And I slept on like a bent finger.

The first thing I was was sheer air

And the locked drops rising in dew

Limpid as spirits. Many stones lay

Dense and expressionless round about.

I didn't know what to make of it.

I shone, mice-scaled, and unfolded

To pour myself out like a fluid

Among bird feet and the stems of plants.

I wasn't fooled. I knew you at once.

Tree and stone glittered, without shadows.

My finger-length grew lucent as glass.

I started to bud like a March twig:

An arm and a leg, and arm, a leg.

From stone to cloud, so I ascended.

Now I resemble a sort of god

Floating through the air in my soul-shift

Pure as a pane of ice. It's a gift.

Sylvia Plath
Photo by stock.xchng, poem found on Poem Hunter and other poems on "change" can be found at

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Self Portrait Challenge- "Black & White"

February is all about black & white at SPC but it's also the month of love. Each week will be black & white with love, glam and sexy. I started with my new love, my grandson TK. Next week is Valentine's Day and my 3 year wedding anniversary, so that will be about Dave. The last two weeks I'm going to be daring and show how sexy and glamorous over 40 can be ;)

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

One Deep Breath - Twilight/Dusk Haiku

Day slinks into night
quickly dressing in color
her shift now over

Pretty in pink
lavender ruffles billow
orange fire rages

Golden halos
fading light shines through the clouds
heaven calls into the night

Blues of twilight
backdrop of glittering stars
moon smiles down

Friday, February 02, 2007

Sunday Scribbling - "Goodbyes"

My life has been full of goodbyes. Friendships have gone wrong, lovers have left and people and animals I've loved have died. Those goodbyes are very final and can impact our lives in unexpected ways. New friendships are made, hearts can heal and time can turn grief into a dull ache with loving memories. My hardest goodbye has been to my health and it has altered who I am in many ways.
Many people with ALS lose an ability every few months. Imagine going from holding a glass of water one month and not being able to lift that glass a few months later. You have no time to adjust as the next ability begins to leave. ALS is an "orphan disease" because most ALS patients don't live long enough to go out and spread awareness or fund raise for research. One in one thousand will get ALS, but only 30,000 will be living with it at one time. There is little time for goodbyes.
I am in the 1% of people with ALS and that has given me time to adjust to my loss of abilities. My goodbye's are bittersweet but have filled me with appreciation for being given the gift of time to adjust. ALS has taken away one ability but with time has replaced it with another. I've developed strength, compassion and patience. I can reach for an object and drop it five times before I throw it ;) It's a balancing act I've learned over time but It never makes the goodbyes easy. I'm currently saying a farewell to driving. It is a big goodbye because it represents my independence, but I saw it coming and I'm interested in what new ability will replace it. Life as already set the timing in motion for good things to happen. Dave's retirement, our move and my blog will definitely make life more interesting.
I know how lucky I am in being able to grieve the loss of my health. "The ALS Advocacy Community" and "Patients Like Me" websites make my goodbye's less scary and help me become more prepared. I have learned enough in sixteen years to actually be able to contribute to ALS awareness in small ways and I hope to do much more. I just may have enough goodbyes to say hello to a cure.

Thursday, February 01, 2007

Unexpected Joy!

I'm thrilled just to have been, really! Tara at Paris Parfait nominated me at "Share the Love Blog Awards" I'm in two categories and even being nominated is an honor.

That being said, if you agree you can vote at .

You will see many of your own favorites, so go check it out. It's a great way to read new blogs but congrats to my buddie

Lisa at
Tara at
Amber at
Tink at
Deb at

Tara at

In other news, the girls are all moved in with no drama for mama...woohoo! They have a house up here but out of the four only one has a job. Interviews are pending but if I'm not mistaken don't you get a job first? I was already asked to be their personal laundromat but I said no. I said try the laundromat, it worked for me as a working mom for years, but they said "eww."I don't understand why taking buses, using Laundromats and starting positions are beneath them. It's not just my kid's either if you've been watching the Today Show.

I spent my week choosing paint for the new house because Dave's sister is going to help us out by painting. A hallway, entryway,living room, kitchen, basement and dining room. I love color and was going nuts on shades but ended up with 9 different colors...eek! It will take a full week and a huge load off Dave.