When I think of a crush it takes me back to my youth where boys my age still had cooties. I didn't know back then that tugging on my pigtails and chasing me into the girls bathroom meant they actually liked me.
I preferred the older men that hung on my walls, as I laid on my red bean bag chair, while they sang love songs to me. I would cry into my pillow over my overwhelming love for them, as they stared at me with loving eyes from my Teenbeat magazines. I'd day dream about how we would meet while scribbling their name's in every slam book I wrote in. I wrote endless fan letters and when I received something back I truly believed it was written by them to me. Then I watched every TV show they were on, but was constantly interrupted by my little brother's endless teasing. He would hold his heart with both hands while batting his eye's saying "oh Donny, I love you!" I had to punch him every time it was at a commercial.
My mom actually let me go with a group of girls and their mom's to see Donny Osmond in concert. We were so far away he was 3 inches tall but we made absolute fools of ourselves during his big hit "Puppy Love." We never heard the song through our screaming and tears but we were sure he was singing to us. The moms must have been laughing hysterically. We left thinking that was the best day of our lives ;)
I'm not sure when I went from those crushes to chasing boys. Between my day dreams of teen idols and a Harlequin romance novel addiction the boys never really stood a chance. I dated too many jocks in high school...enough said! It really screwed up my chances to have a realistic relationship when I got older. My expectations were too high and my dreams of love were shattered. Now that I'm older and have lived a little, my days of crushes and dreams of knights on white horses are long gone. They have been replaced by real love and real life.