Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Encyclopedia of Me - "A"

Becca at http://beccasbyline.blogspot.com/ has joined a 26 day meme from http://belladia.typepad.com/bella_dia/encyclopedia_of_me_meme/index.html where You write something about yourself using a different letter of the alphabet. You can start when ever you want and do it once a day or once a week. I'm going to do it on Tuesdays. Summer time has made me a lazy blogger and I need to keep up my journal. I see my grandchildren reading every post some day and I don't want to leave anything out.

I have not been feeling myself lately because I have been swallowing a whole lot of anger. Our house situation and Dave's pending retirement is not even part of my anger. I'm angry at how self-absorbed, selfish and rude people have been lately. I know there are very sincere, good people out there but I don't have enough of them in my little world. I thought the main problem was the younger generation due to immaturity and entitlement issues but I've been seeing it in all ages. Is life so bad that some people can't see past their own agenda's. What is happening out there?

I'm purging it here and now, but not rudely, manipulatively or selfishly. I'm disappointed in myself because my solution was wanting to hide away inside my happy, cosy life with Dave. Shutting out all other possibilities as armor. That truly would be the very definition of selfish living. When I move I'm going to embrace my new community and live in the world again. My world is too small and unbalanced lately. I will hit the delete button on the toxic and try to surround myself with only good vibes (I can try). My world is really in my hands and I can change it. I'm not ever going to be a social butterfly but I need to have good people in my life to balance out what I can't control. I'm feeling my world growing just in my blog with much more to come. I don't want to leave this world as part of the problem nor will I shut out the world because it has run adrift.

I'll try and be more upbeat on "B." ;)


AnnieElf said...

Speaking of entitlement, Tammy, we are all entitled to the down days; the days when we feel like everyone around us is a disappointment; the days when we want to and need to take refuge in the safe harbor that we build for ourselves. These are the times when we can see into the truths that we don't want to necessarily look at. But if we DO, we find solutions to problems and changes of direction that can open up our world. Wishing you a bright new expanding world and you work to accomplish the move (literally) from one place to the next.

Inland Empire Girl said...

I saw this meme and will start it also. I understand exactly what you are saying and I am guilty of hiding away also in my cozy life with JEJ. Soon school will start and I will need to be " out there again". I need to bring good vibes also! Good plan for yourself also.

turquoise cro said...

Get rid of that nasty anger my sweet Tammy! I'm sending YOU good vibes!!! Can YOU feel them???!! LOL((((Tammy)))) Hey Dave!!! Give Tammy a softie bear HUG for me!!!(YOU know the one, that lil Snuggles bear! hehe) Yeah! That will squeeze some of those baddies out! Yeah! xoxoxox ps. YOU've got to get ready for tomorrow!!! Who's your Fav??? Neil has sure gotten my attention here lately, with that Beauty Full plange and he can jump as high as Danny! LOL Do YOU think Sabra or Danny will win????!!!

turquoise cro said...

O! and I'm going to try and comment with an "A" soOOoooOO I "APPLAUD" your honesty!!! sweet Girly T!!!

Star said...

I agree that this is an intriguing meme. I'm tempted :)

I agree with your choice for A. I've seen a lot of the qualities I thought were predominantly in teens cropping up in some of the adults around me also. My first reaction is to throw my hands up and scoff at them, but on closer examination, I have to say that I think it's surprising that I don't see even more of this behavior.

I'm not giving any of them a free pass (especially the kids), but it seems like the amount of stress all of us have to deal with on a daily basis is compounding daily. Some deal with it by stuffing it down and some deal with it by fighting for a little "me" time in any way they can.

Bottom line: I guess my best barometer has always been to "walk a mile in another person's shoes" and then take another look at the situation. When I do that, I often find that part of the problem can be laid at my own feet. If I would spend more time with a smile on my own face and expecting good things from people, I'd get more of what I'm looking for.

I'm glad to hear that you've got a good game plan. Those positive vibes will work wonders!

Looking forward to your "B" :D

Lucy said...

Tam, we all get caught up in that anger mode and it's necessary. Just vent to all your good blogging buddies, we are here for you sweetie pie! Let it out, hit a few pillows and tomorrow is another day to put on a happy face as you curse those selfish bastards under your beautiful smile! :))
hang in there xo

Jennifer said...

WOW! I so agree!! We're going throught the EXACT same thing...I can't believe it! We're moving and our goals are the same as yours, and I so understand the people being mean thing. I think everyone is sooo stressed out this year. I don't even get a, "Have a nice day" at the store anymore. It's easier to fall down into the pit of despair than it is to get up and be happy, but we're going for it. This post was a real encourager for me cuz it's so similar to what we're going through it's uncanny.
Sending good vibs! LOL

Amber said...

You are on the right tract. When we create peace and balance and harmony in our minds, we find it in our lives. Sometimes we get caught in other people's energy, and then we really need to stop and take notice of how we got there. I am really working on this right now. I am trying to practice "loving detatchment".

But to you I am sedning love and more love. Take a breath...Let it out. Feel all the love around you.


giggles said...

Purge away dear lady...we can take it! I would hate to think of that anger suppressed! I heard another blogger talking about how energy vampires suck the life out of us. Yes I have surrounded myself with good vibes mainly so I'm not spending more energy than I have! I like the Alphabet meme....great idea!

Great big hugs to you!!!
Love Sherrie

kate said...

Ah - one of the best things about blogs - being able to vent when necessary and knowing that you have supportive friends in this community. We all have these times when we feel drained by negative energy around us.

BTW - your scrolling photos are lovely ... I'm enjoying the butterflies passing by the pictures!

Becca said...

I wish we could grab some of the supportive, positive feelings of community that seem to overflow here in blogland and sprinkle them over the "real world," where that seems to be sorely lacking. It's interesting to me that so many of the people I've met through my internet connections are warm, generous, willing to connect with others (virtual strangers, really) on so many levels, while in real life people tend to remain self-absorbed, as you said, afraid of stepping outside their own small worlds or holding out a hand to other people.

This was a great post - I'm glad you decided to share these feelings, and that you're joining in the Enclyclopedia of Me!

tinker said...

We all need to vent some anger some time - and at least you've gotten it out at the beginning, instead of letting all that steam build up to a boil inside.

I wish the real world held more of the sense of community and love that we find here in blogland, too - maybe as more and more people find that though, it will spread out into the real world. One can hope! Love this alphabet meme, I've seen people showing letters, but didn't know what it meant! Maybe that would give me some new blog energy and perk me up...thanks for sharing this! XOXO

Marcia (MeeAugraphie) said...

Tammy, you wrote:

My world is too small and unbalanced lately. I will hit the delete button on the toxic and try to surround myself with only good vibes (I can try). My world is really in my hands and I can change it.

I could have written it.

I wonder if bloggers are so supportive because we are writers at heart and as writers we have to think, we have to pull into ourselves for those few minutes each day and actually think.

And it isn't imagination, people overall have forgotten their manners, so to speak.

There are a lot of bloggers out there conscious of this now, maybe we can all set examples in public, and use your delete button, too.

Jimmy said...

I believe there was a time where we all dealt with the occasional rudeness or impropriety because the were aberrations ("a" word!) and we were sturdy enough to brush them aside. Seems to me that the more atypical (ha! another "a" word!) behavior these days is the polite, considerate moment we might encounter. Random acts of kindness have really become random, while we celebrate atrocious conduct.
Anyway, the point I'm trying to make is that you're up against a more formidable enemy these days, and your reaction is not unusual. It's just taking you a little time to foster some additional strength in the face of acrimony. You do have a wonderful life overall, and I know you haven't lost sight of that. You're a good person who refuses to not be good, and that's what makes you amazing.
See you on the upside soon :)

Jimmy said...

LOL, by the way, "awesome" is a good word, "amazing" is the pet-peeve of mine, and only because it's never used properly. It has its meaning, and I do believe I used it appropriately in my previous comment :)

daisies said...

we all have these days, these days when we can't fight it with kindness ... i always want to cocoon inside with my duke and hide from it all on those days but sometimes venting helps :)