Friday, May 02, 2008

Writer's Island - "Identity"

http://jedimasterpaul.deviantart.com/gallery/#_featured--3

She awoke to the neighbors blower at 7:45 in the flipping morning. She felt the sweat on her neck and back as she realized she had pushed the covers off her body in the night. It must have been at least 57 degrees in her room as she rubbed her chilled bare arms. She was amazed that her body did not wake her to say "hey I'm freezing here" but it usually didn't.



Shuffling off to the bathroom she felt that occasional tick of pain shoot up from behind her ear threatening to reach her head. She new from past history what steps must be taken before the throbbing started setting the migraine in motion. Four aspirin, lots of strong coffee and a hot shower was going to start this day. "Not today" she said under her breath.



Brushing her aging fragile teeth, like a thousand other mornings, she caught her reflection in the mirror. The grey hairs were spreading like ground cover dulling her bright blue eyes. Her once tanned smooth skin was showing splotches of browns and her eyes were circled in blue. "When did this happen?" she asked the empty room. She never minded getting older with the sagging body parts, a tummy and some character lines but things were changing. She took once last glance and simply looked away.



Having beaten the migraine she dressed for work. Irritated at the cat for wanting attention, pissed that her green shirt was still in the wash and annoyed that she was going to be late did not brighten her mood. This was simply not the well organized morning person she usually was. This was not just a bad day because this was becoming a thing. She felt like she was losing control of who she was bit by bit.



She felt her identity slipping away but it was not a constant. It would simply creep into the night and steal her away but always brought her back within a couple of days. When these things would emerge she found it hard to fall asleep but not from the lack of being tired. She would often stare at the ceiling feeling like she was at a precipice. One night it simply hit her, she was going through "the change." Relief washed over her as everything came together.



This was only a transition like in her adolescence. That hadn't been too bad plus she got a great figure out of the deal. This next transition will be tougher but with the wisdom she has gathered it will be empowering. A new life was beginning to emerge from her body and she wanted to embrace the change. She rose from her bed and crept outside in her bare feet. Standing under the light of the full moon she inhaled deeply and swayed to the rhythm of nature.

17 comments:

Just Jen said...

great! I was worried about her, glad it was just 'the change'.

I heard a comedian say that as a teen, she was told the change would make her a woman, nobody told her that this second phase would turn her into her father...HAHAHA
Your creative side is doing well :D

Star said...

Just beginning to dip my toe into this arena. So much to look forward to ;)

This was a nice piece, Tammy!

pepektheassassin said...

Ah, yes. I've heard it said (and it is true) that you stop growing hair on your legs so you'll have more time to devote to tending the hair growing on your chin!

Hehe.

pepektheassassin said...

Heh. And another story I heard just yesterday (supposedly true) of the woman whose doctor asked when she'd had her last mammogram. She told him there was nothing left to x-ray, so he offered to check, but couldn't find any. "Where are they?" he asked. "Oh, they are right here," she said. "I tucked them into my pants."

daisies said...

wow tammy! this is incredibly well written and am thinking menopause doesn't sound so bad when you put it like that :)

have a beautiful weekend, xo

paisley said...

i would love to comment... but i refuse to talk about the cursed change!!!!! excellent piece of writing tammy!!!!!!

gautami tripathy said...

Tammy, you are as good in prose as in poetry.

dog and (wo)man

Nancy said...

Uh...thanks for the lift?
Sadly, I can relate. But I guess there's something to be said about valuing all our changes...every single one.

Love,
Nance

Robin said...

I'm glad she's begun to come to terms with the change. That seems much healthier than fighting or resenting it so.

Now if only I could recognize those impending migraine clues in my own life...

giggles said...

You are such an inspiration! Your spirit soars in your writing! I was glued to every word as it danced along the page! Glorious writing!

Hugs Sherrie

chicklegirl said...

Getting older sucks, no way around it. But the trade off is wisdom, patience, and perspective. Which you seem to have in abundance. This was a wonderful, descriptive look at a day in that journey.

Rambler said...

change when accepted does become so easy, very well said :)

Suma said...

this was a good piece indeed!!!

and teh picture went so well with it too

tinker said...

Have you been watching me? lol
Actually you're inspiring me - your character has a much better outlook about it all, than I've had... I've got to change my attitude about this 'change of life' business. This too, shall pass (like my chest passing over my stomach, haha). Seriously though, you're right - it is just another stage of life, like adolescence - thanks for the inspiration, Tammy~XOXO

jadey said...

ha this is a wonderful post embrace the new you and enjoy it.

shubd said...

"The Change" is an inevitable process of nature .Resisting it turns it into a monster that rules our every moment . Accepting it is the first step towards dealing it.


Nice story there, Tammy.

one more believer said...

ahh yes, and this soon shall pass too... i use to tell myself as i traveled to places unknown in a haze of hormonal changes... oh, i can so relate to this... after passing thru the void of change i am now back residing in my body as i was just a bit changed... looking forward to each day refreshed, alive and sane... oh, tammy thank you for the sweet comment back there at my place...