I have often felt, in my journey through life, as if I were a stranger in my own environment. Just when I would start to get comfortable in my life something would invariably switch. Who knew that these different environments I visited were simply a learning ground for bigger challenges I would need to face.
Growing up I lived in a diverse neighborhood where I was considered a minority. I was threatened and teased for my dresses and white skin. I quickly learned to survive by ditching the dresses and embracing the different cultures. I didn't give up my culture, I just emersed myself in the other cultures to fit in. I was given a very unique look at the world at an early age. It shaped who I am today.
In high school I was taken from my diverse surroundings and thrown into another strange land. I was put in a Catholic private school where once again I felt like a stranger. We were not rich and I didn't even pass the entrance exam. I was somehow accepted and found myself in a school where the majority of the kids were white and rich. The economic differences were very clear in the various cliques. My core group of friends were diverse, and yet I could hang with the burnouts as easily as I could be a cheerleader on a Friday night.
Being a working wife and mother did not feel strange to me at all. I just thought it was the natural order of things. I loved juggling a home, kids and work. I didn't even feel strange doing it as a divorced mother because my role really didn't change. My life was full and productive. Sadly that would come to a sudden halt, as my life would take yet another turn. With one diagnosis I was once again a stranger in my own environment.
My life changed drastically as I went from a full life, to a life of isolation and uncertainty. I tried countless ways to adapt, but this would not be as easy as I had anticipated. It would become a journey I had to take alone. I found my inner strength, with the help of my faith, to find ways to stay a part of the outside world. The computer brought me to Dave and a very special love. I found that same computer kept me connected to the world and gave me a voice. I have real friends that I can reach out to all over the world. I can not only fit in, but I can make a small difference.
I will never remain a stranger in my own environment for long. My past has taught me how to adapt and know there is always a way to stay in the game.
Typing a single post and commenting takes a very long time with one finger. I recently had a demo with what I hope to be my saving grace. The Dynovox Eyemax will type with my eye's and will record my voice. I can use my voice or their numerous choices of sultry voices. It is a PC and can even anticipate the next word I might want to type. I can put it on a rolling stand and use it like a laptop. I loved trying it and I can see it giving me many more years of having a voice. I must get approved by the insurance company, but I will not take no for an answer on this one.