Friday, December 09, 2005

Miracle # 1

A miracle is "an extraordinary and welcome event." We all have had miracles in our lives, but we just don’t always acknowledge them as miracles. We might say it was a coincidence or good luck. The rest of the definition is "attributed to a divine agency" or what I interpret to mean God. I believe in miracles and have been blessed by many extraordinary events in my life. This time of year there is such joy innertwined with much sorrow. We remember our loved one’s we have lost, but celebrate miracles. I feel now is the time to share our own personal miracles that may give hope and bring back joy to those who need it.

Long ago, before I was diagnosed, I was in charge of Apple Computer’s office supplies for the whole United States. I was a single mom of two babies, had an assistant, wore heels and power suits. I did not go out of town much, kept decent hours and was well compensated. One routine doctor visit and things began to change. It started with a very subtle feeling of being off balance, which turned into a diagnoses of MS. I was told to research chronic MS and call if I had any questions. I did not have any inclination to do that, went back to work and stayed in my world of denial. I did not let my bosses know in case they "changed my position" and my assistant covered for me if I needed to go home due to fatigue. I started falling down, I could tell people were talking, so one day I came in with a cane and I had to spill the news. They were great and said "whatever you need". My MS was no longer a secret, so I finally did a little research and low and behold my advancing MS was, after 3yrs, no longer resembling MS. Over the next year I saw five different doctors, all assuming the other did an EEG (muscle tester), and no one had. When I got an EEG my diagnosis went from MS to ALS, which is a 3-5yr death sentence.

When you hear this sort of news, all you can think about are your babies. I panicked and thought "how will I support my babies", "I can’t leave, their too young". Here is my first miracle! I told my bosses I needed to be with my girls and had to retire. I went to Human Resources to fill out paper work, praying Social Security would be enough to not loose the girls. The gal says "ok, with disability insurance you get 65% of your salary until age 65". I said (like a dummy) " I don’t have disability insurance". When I was hired I was asked if I wanted it and I laughed saying "no way, I’m young and need the money". A "clerical error" was made and I had been paying for it all along. Never could figure out those stupid pay stubs.

This miracle allowed me to buy a little house in the country and raise my girls. They still can’t figure out why I’m still here after 16yrs, but that’s a different miracle.


tara dawn said...

I came across your site from a comment you posted on another blog. Miracles are a gift from god and certainly a gift that we are reminded of during this time of year. My boyfriend's father was diagnosed with ALS 12 years ago, and he is still going strong as well. Your strength, and optimism, like his, are an inspiration to others. Thank you! - Tara Dawn

betty said...

That's a "God thing" when things work out like this. The Lord truly was watching over you with the disability insurance.

I believe you are still here like I wrote in my journal today. All of our days are written in your book (the Lord's) before one of them came to be. The Lord knows exactly how long we will live; not the doctors or the "experts" but the Author of Life.

great entry :)


Gabreael said...

What a great time to write about miracles.


emmapeelDallas said...

I'm glad you had the disability insurance, and also glad...very glad...that you're still here. Those are two wonderful miracles!


Candace said...

God works in mysterious (and miraculus) ways. : )

V said...

This entry is so inspiring. God is close to you.

Sie said...

The Lord works in mysterious ways..

Jackie said...

Miracles are a wonder to behold, aren't they? I have a few in my life, and thank God for them everyday.
You're a fighter, Tammy... That and by the grace of God are you still with us! :) A good thing!! A very good thing!