Friday, December 23, 2005

Miracle # 4

I became a single, disabled stay at home mom for thirteen years totally consumed with being a mom. It was a time of adjustment, being away from the corporate rat race, moving away from old friends and giving up dating (no man, no sad goodbyes). I loved the movies, read lots of books and raised little walking bundles of hormones. Dave was a single working father who lived for his weekends with his only child, Jolene. He was the best of dads by making quality time with his daughter. For thirteen years his only passions were his daughter, fishing/hunting and gardening. He remained single for thirteen years,
dating very little.

When children get to high school they tend to have less time for parents. We as parents have to adjust and figure out what the heck to do now. I learned how to instant message and chatted with people all over the country. I was happy without a man but missed some of the parts of having one (yes, that too). I went online and tried a dating service, my thinking was "companionship" (what a cliche’). I down played the dying part, but was honest with the disabled part. They mostly ran for the hills or offered stud services. Then I came across Dave. He was a gentleman, supportive and sweet. We started talking on the phone, which was scary for me because my tongue is dying and I slur my words, but I warned him so he would not think I was sloshed! Our profile’s were a good match and on the "what would be your perfect date" we answered the very same thing, a sunset picnic.

Our first date was hysterical! It was 102 outside ( ALS can’t handle extreme temperatures) and my neighbor thought a disabled woman meeting a stranger in a strange town was insanity. I asked if he owned a chainsaw, for Pete’s sake! I dressed like a hootchie mama to camouflage the walker, brought a cell phone and put an ice pack under the pillow I sat on to drive (air conditioner was broken). We also filled an ice chest with ice, put it in the passenger seat and used the car fan as air conditioning (cold buns,but it worked great!). We had an ice cream, went to a movie and had a sunset picnic by a creek. I knew he was the real deal when he held my walker on slopes, was protective and always asked before touching me when assisting. He kissed me goodnight, but it had been so long for both of us it was awful. The second kiss was much better :)

The miracle was the next day. He sat at his computer learning all about ALS, he learned I would become paralyzed, need a feeding tube, loose my speech, need in home care and die of suffocation. Worst of all there was no cure! I never thought he would call me again, but he did. He said " I see a light in you, I want to be apart of that light and get to know your happy spirit". Ok, stick a fork in me, I’m done!

Long story short, I fell in love with this awesome creature. He proposed in a apple orchard, with a table set with my neighbor’s fine linen and china, Barbara Streisand singing "somewhere", a poem from the heart on bended knee and a ring. So much for "I’ll never marry again".

We were married at sunset, on Valentine’s Day 2004, on a deserted beach in Kauai. We were blessed by a double rainbow after the intimate ceremony and have made the most out of our gift of miracle's.


Chris said...

Wow. You are so very blessed. I'm truly happy for you! I want some of that! lol. Merry Christmas girlfriend!

Cynthia said...

Now that is an incredible love story! Thank you so much for sharing this.

Candace said...

Yes, he is a miracle, a gift from God! (can you clone him?)
Merry Christmas -- and a happy, safe and healthy as possible new year.

ckays1967 said...

this is beautiful and much like my own story....only I was bald when I met Charley. I had just had brain surgery.


our men are great heros....

emmapeelDallas said...

This is another beautiful, inspiring entry. Dave was right, you have a light in you, Tammy, and it shines through in everything you write. I'm so glad that I found your blog, and that I get to read every entry.