Sunday, July 16, 2006

Sunday Scribblings - Baggage


We all come with baggage, wether young or old. Some baggage we have been given, others we choose and some people have more than others. Baggage can be old and tattered from dragging it out too often. Some still look good from being kept up in the rafters, reminders of journeys gone by. It remains with us until we leave this world, where it has already been claimed.

The baggage of my youth was passed down to me by a "checked out" father and an abusive mother. As I grew into a young woman with low self-esteem, I stared to choose my baggage. I left home to the arms of a drug addicted, verbally abusive man. I made a choice to stay and have two children. I then choose to leave, putting my children through a bad divorce, passing on some of the pieces of baggage I had chosen.

I spent many years trying to tape up the tattered baggage, keeping it out of sight as if I had none at all. Life has an interesting way of finding new journeys for me to travel, needing one more piece to add to the mix. Funny how as the pieces grow larger, they fit perfectly inside one another, as if they were a set always meant to be. I looked at my baggage now and again, as they sat gathering cobwebs. I liked whom I had become, baggage and all, thinking my journey’s had come to an end.

I learned our journey is never done, because just as I had accepted my fate, I was sent an angel. When I met Dave, I told myself not to love him. My baggage at 42 years old would never fit into his already full closet. This is selfish behavior . . . stop it! I never was a good listener and fell in love. Marriage was out of the question, but he seemed so sure. I had him get my baggage down from the rafters, opening each piece before him. I left no pockets unchecked, no zippers unzipped. He still wanted me, baggage and all.

Dave and I have rafters full of baggage and uncertainty of the future. We also have grown and are stronger because of it. We are proud of our hodge podge collection of baggage, because without it we would not be here together. As we take each others hand, awaiting our next journey. The pieces still come out, going around the carousel waiting to be claimed.


Check out other scribblings on baggage here



25 comments:

rachel said...

That is such a gorgeous post Tammy, I think yours and my journeys to now have been similar. I'm not getting my stuff down from the rafters yet, need a little more confidence in myself, but soon I will

acumamakiki said...

What an amazingly beautiful and incredible post. I loved reading this. Thank you for coming to visit my new blog home ~ you're the very first comment and I'm glad to have found your blog as a result.

Susannah said...

Tammy, this is such an inspiring post - *you* are such an inspiring woman. and thank you for the sweet comment you left me today - it means so much. hugs to you xx

Chris said...

Tammy, you hit this one out of the park. Excellent writing and something everyone should remember.

I think I've intentionally shed some baggage in my life, when I realized that I don't have to carry it if I don't want to.

Chris
My Blog

Deb R said...

That's a beautiful post, Tammy!

ian russell said...

yes! i too believe that the journey is never ending. and the future is certainly uncertain!

great writing, tammy. :o)

betty said...

beautifully written, Tammy. Wow!!! Lots to think about with it. I liked how you wrote the part of taking your baggage out, piece by piece with David and having him view it. Excellent writing!

betty

GreenishLady said...

So beautifully written. I am really glad you found your angel when you needed him. You are an inspiration in your willingness to open up your baggage.

Becca said...

Once again, you show us all how brave you are, and how that bravery has led you to fulfillment. Such a moving story, and beautifully written. Thank you for sharing.

tara dawn said...

Kindred spirits we are indeed!
I am so happy that you and Dave have managed to bring down all the baggage from the rafters...that is true love...you are both an inspiration to me!
Lots of love to you and big, big hugs!
And PS on the last post...I can just picture you in that red shoe car...that would be awesome! I know it is difficult, but I'm more than happy to drive you anywhere you want to go...just give me a few hours notice so I can fly my butt out there:)
xoxo

Sarah e.Smith said...

Such beautiful writing, thanky ou for giving us a little glimpse of you and your life. The photo you posted is wonderful and is a perfect fit with your story. Cheers!

bb said...

I love the way you distinguish between baggage we are given and baggage we choose to acquire for ourselves. Tammy, you're an inspiration - hurrah!

Adrift At Sea said...

Tammy-

When someone truly loves you, they accept you for who you are warts and all... and they don't leave your baggage unclaimed. Beautifully written and well said.

Dan

Adrift At Sea said...

Might also want to read Michelle's post at http://asweetlife.typepad.com/la_vie_en_rosea_sweet_lif/2006/07/sunday_scribbli_1.html

pepektheassassin said...

A really nice post, tammy. Good writing.

lisrobbe said...

This was so inspirational to me becasue it gives me hope.

Star said...

You are truly a woman who has made peace with the baggage in her life. It is difficult to believe that someone would choose to take on a lot of baggage, but when the love bug bites I think it opens our eyes to see beyond the baggage to the treasure within.

Thank you for sharing this very personal post, Tammy.

Living Part Deux said...

This is the chock full of wisdom and sweetness - like you! What a wonderful, perfect way to view the past and the future.

Rebekah

Anonymous said...

You write with so much transparency and honesty. I really appreciate your work. I especially liked this sentence, "It remains with us until we leave this world, where it has already been claimed." That is so true -- and we won't have to carry our baggage around forever! Thanks, too, for visiting my site! Blessings!

bonnie (www.yakattack.typepad.com)

Kamsin said...

I really like your take on the baggage theme. May you and Dave enjoy many happy years together, along with all your baggage kept firmly in it's proper place.

Turquoise CRO said...

I'm soooo GLAD you two have each other! Love IS a many splendored thing! baggaGE and all!

bella said...

tammy, this was beautiful written and thought out. i loved the comment you left on my blog. you answered to a friend who is held back by her baggage.. so to speak. I hope she learns from you.

Tabor said...

Another really well written and thoughtful post. I re-read it. I have the image in my mind of you pulling out your most tattered clothing and souvenirs from each satchel and holding them into the light for Dave to see. He just shakes his head and smiles and then helps you put them away.

la vie en rose said...

finding a safe place to start sorting through the baggage is such a necessary step in the healing process. i'm glad you've found a safe place. i wish that for all of us.

paris parfait said...

Tammy, reading this post, I have tears streaming down my face. This is such a beautiful, honest, hard look at life and all its joys and trials. Thank you for being so brave; for sharing your story and your valiant daily struggle. You inspire anyone who is struggling to never give up hope; to never stop believing. Bless you, dear Tammy for your pure and open heart and your friendship. Sending a big hug across the miles! XO