Saturday, July 15, 2006

Moving Past a Loss



I saw this car and thought why not? Anything is better than my "car from hell" in the garage. I only drive to and from the gym, three days a week (10 min.). My gym is on top of a hill and as I leave, I'm going downhill into a 4 way hwy intersection. My air conditioning is out, I'm always in a wet suit and don't own a cell phone (not good signals up here).

Last week as I headed out from the gym, going down that hill in triple degree heat my breaks went out! As I went to hit them again, they worked before I even touched the pedal. It did it again, but stopped at the bottom. I was shaking so badly as I sat there at that light. I made my right turn to go home, stuck to the side of the road until I reached a parking lot. I tested the brakes in various ways and they seemed fine. I drove it home with no problems. We got it fixed and then a few days later we discovered a coolant leak in the heater area. Dave re-routed hoses to stop it from leaking and over heating. No air and now no heater for winter. We decided to trade her in when Dave retires because even though I can drive, my disability makes it too dangerous to drive alone any longer. ALS people can't handle hot or cold weather at all. I must grieve the loss of one more ability and accept dependence on driving. We are getting a home gym and I will finish out the summer at the gym on cooler days. Part of me is sad, while another part is relieved. I will miss my friends and another freedom. I knew this was coming, but I must be safe and focus on what I can do, not what I can't :)

Deb at http://debrichardson.blogspot.com/ Red Shoes Rambling inspired me with her red boots. I know she would love the idea for my ideal new car. LOL We will turn all our vehicles in for one safe, new, 4 wheel drive, low gas mileage, retirement truck! WooHoo! One vehicle to think about, pay for and insure :)

15 comments:

clare said...

Well Tammy I'm very glad you survived that one - it sounds horrific. It seems such a shame you can't go to the gym any more, though. I hope you get plenty of visitors coming round to see you instead.

That car is magnificent! Every girl should have one.

Star said...

Your trip home from the gym sounds as if had been attended by angels. I'm sorry you will no longer be able to have the freedom driving affords, though. Your new wheels could really brighten up the neighborhoodh...would it fit in your garage? I saw Deb's red boot post and think this is the perfect evolution for you!

I'm glad you're safe, Tammy.

Deb R said...

Tammy!! Damn, girlfriend, I'm glad you're safe. That's too scary!

(You're right, I love the pic.)

pepektheassassin said...

Sounds to me like it was the car, not you. I reacted the same way when my brakes went out....That red car gives the poem about the "little old lady who lived in a shoe" a whole new take!

Becca said...

Tammy, your angels were flying with you on that trip home!

You are an amazing and inspiring woman. You teach us all so much about attitude and acceptance. This is something very important that you CAN do, and I am grateful you made it home from the gym to keep doing it!

BTW, those wheels are "bitchin'"!

Colorsonmymind said...

Phew-that is a scary thing Tammy-I am so happy you are ok.

Hey maybe you could offer some of your gym friends a reduced rate to join your home gym-or just invite them over for a work out.

Having only one vehicle to repair, pay for and insure will be a nice bonus that hopefully counteracts the hard part og giving up your car.

Loving you and your spirit

V said...

I love your new Pics, Tammy.
Hugs,
V

Anonymous said...

that is one awesome car!
your trip back from the gym sounded scary with the breaks going out. glad you're o.k.
do you have any girlfriends you can carpool with to the gym?

bella said...

that was me, Bella.

Living Part Deux said...

What a TERRIFYING experience. Like all your other friends here, I am SO thankful you were protected and arrived home without injury!

You continue to inspire me with your circumspect attitude toward the changes that your disease inevitably inflicts. I mourn with you the loss of another freedom. But I revere your grace in the face of the loss. Your lovely spirit is truly intact and gives me so very much! Thank you. And God bless Dave. He also has a very, very lovely spirit, that we have been able to glimps through your eyes.

Living Part Deux said...

Oh, I forgot to mention your sassy, saucy fantasy car. Ooh la la!!! So fun. It suits you!

Madeleine said...

oh my god, that must have scared you to death!!
well as far as the independent driving is concerned, i know this must be very frustrating. especially for such a string minded and independent woman like you Tammy. I'm sure you'll find another hobby or adventure to take up, knowing you!! ( but how cool to have your own personal chauffeur) lots of love x

betty said...

Tammy; loved the ideal car, wouldn't that be cute to have? Hated the fact that you lost another part of independence, but loved your attitude about it. Hugs to you;

betty

Chris said...

Jeze pete, that would scare me silly. Glad that you are ok but I understand your feeling of loss:(

I can drive just fine but I LOVE MY HOME GYM!!!!! So I think you'll love yours. Post pics when it is done!

Chris
My Blog

Turquoise CRO said...

Phew! Soooooo GLAD you made it home safe girly! YOU are an inspiration to us sweet Tammy! love and prayers to YOU and YOURS! I really like that red high heel car! with the gasoline prices climbing higher and higher we're all gonna have to get bikes! YIKES!