Poetry Thursday - "Villanelle"
Another stretch for me as a new poet. You know I love a challenge and this is a whopper!The villanelle is a poem of 19 lines, five triplets and a quatrain, using only two rhymes throughout the whole form. The entire first line is repeated as lines 6, 12 and 18 and the third line is repeated as lines 9, 15 and 19 -- so that the lines which frame the first triplet weave through the poem like refrains in a traditional song, and form the end of the concluding stanza. With these repeating lines represented as A1 and A2 (because they rhyme), the entire rhyme scheme is A1bA2 abA1 abA2 abA1 abA2 abA1A2.
A Mother's Anger
I look at you and shake my head
my heart turns cold with fear.
Somewhere I went dead.
The storm has been brewing
as I hold my tongue in check.
I look at you and shake my head.
I gave you life's truths in love
yet it still falls on deaf ears
Somewhere I went dead.
There is still time for you to see
but time keeps standing still.
I look at you and shake my head.
I pray that no harm will come to you
as I have only one defense.
Somewhere I went dead.
A mother's love can soar with pride
but her heart can easily be broken.
I look at you and shake my head.
Somewhere I went dead.
This is from a single mother who has been there and back to tell the tale. It was hard raising hormonal teenagers without the normal defenses and this brought me back there. Sorry it's so dark but I can't always use the postive stuff. I'm no PollyAnna.
To read other's poetry visit Poetry Thursday
photo of a thistle by stockxpert
25 comments:
Very good Tammy! it's good to see all sides of your poetry and feelings, we can't all have happy moments all the time.
A mother's heart can easily be broken and it can also be mended.
Hugs,
Jolene
I figure if we didn't let some of the shadows out on occasion, there wouldn't be any room left inside us for the light.
Having lived through those teenage hormonal years with 2 daughters of my own, I can certainly empathize with a lot of this.
I can barely follow the math involved in the description, but it certainly sounds to me like you nailed the rhythm done. I don't know how you always come up with these great poems to match the rhythm of the different kinds of poetry - but you always do!
XOXO
For some reason only the patterned background loaded and it was very hard to read the red text against that. Maybe it is just my browser being difficult today.
Tabor
I think this wonderful and not dark at all. It's honest, and refreshing. Sometimes the past reemerges at strange times and in strange ways. But, in all, you came through and you have thrived with new love.
((((hugs))))
Thank GOODNESS you're no polyanna...that would drive me nuts. This is a raw poem...full of truths...and that's always a beautiful thing in my eyes.
Love ya,
Nancy
Your talent at writing the truth is something most of us cannot do because it hurts to much.You ARE a great writer and poet and get better every time.Proud of you and keep it up.Love Dave
Tammy- this is so honest and raw. I am glad you felt comforable enough with all of us to really allow this poem to come out into the daylight. There's time for healing, then, possibly...
Thank you for this...
A very powerful piece. You portray the difficulties very well. Well written. :)
This is beautiful! I love it.... It made me get all choked up!
This is excellent Tammy, especially for a first try at this form.
this is so fabulous and something that i can so relate to as my son has suddenly become a bit of a stranger seemingly overnight (he turns 13 in a couple of months, need i say more) ... sigh
thank you for sharing this and letting me know i am not alone :)
this form scares me but am going to give it a go today ... eep!
You always deliver, Tammy. You always do.
Wow Tammy...This is great! REALLY! The weather is so perfect in the foothills right now! Hope you are enjoying it Sweetie....
Such a powerful and true poem - and so well-constructed. I am in awe of you! Well done!
Tammy,
You've come through again girl. All mothers want their children to learn from their faux pas but it's rare for them to do so on first try.
rel
Poetry is meant to be an expression of what's within at any given moment. It's what you're feeling as you write it. That's what makes it beautiful. It's a peek at the soul.
Our hearts aren't always bright and happy, so no apologies for the "darkness". It's part of what you are. I liked your poem a lot.
The trials of being a parent... heartbreaking.
thanks for sharing your beautiful words
This is obviously heartfelt. Well done, evident the frustration you felt. Funny I was thinking how the title of your blog would have made a great villanelle as well. You definitely captured it! Love the music too!
Hugs Sherrie
Heartbreaking, and pulls no punches. Great stuff.
The villanelle is a challenging poetic form and parenting is one of the most challenging (and rewarding) things that can happen in our lives ... A great job with the poem both in form and emotion ~ Much peace and love to you Tammy, JP
The truths of parenthood. Well done, Robin, especially for a complicated form of poetry.
XXOO!
I cannot tell you how much I identify with this poem. As I read it, I just felt like I was reading words from my own heart. From my step son hating me (I've nearly raised him since he was 3) to watching my own son begin to think I'm not so great anymore. "A mother's love can soar with pride but her heart can easily be broken." No truer words were spoken.
Hey PollyAnna - I thought you were all about happiness and sunshine?
HA!
Tammy, this was great. We all have this inner battle going on, and most times we do need to hold back (after repeatedly yet lovingly guiding someone).
This entire poem is genius - and the words are so expressive. I love it, but I hope I never have to think it. Motherhood is not an easy street. Thanks for sharing this.
Tammy....I need your e-mail! I will give you the name of my vet...it's in Camino...so will be very close for you...I don't understand the thing with the teeth either! There is NO Target here...but they are building one in ElDorado Hills...We will go together when its finished! :-)
YES....INDEED...you may use that photo of Placerville at anytime! Today here it is simply perfect...mid-eighties! My flowers are lovin it! Enjoy your weekend Sweetie....
I think every parent of teenagers or young adults can identify with this! Well done, Tammy. xo
Post a Comment