Poertry Thursday - "Randomizer" Pantoum
My "Randomizer" word is "single."
I chose to try a Pantoum
In a traditional Pantoum:
The lines are grouped into quatrains (4-line stanzas).
The final line of the Pantoum must be the same as its first line.
A Pantoum has any number of quatrains.
Lines may be of any length.
The Pantoum has a rhyme scheme of abab in each quatrain. Thus, the lines rhyme alternately.
The Pantoum says everything twice:
For all quatrains except the first, the first line of the current quatrain repeats the second line in the preceding quatrain; and the third line of the current quatrain repeats the fourth line of the preceding quatrain.
In addition, for the final quatrain, its second line repeats the (so-far unrepeated) third line in the first quatrain; and its last line repeats the (so-far unrepeated) first line of the first quatrain.
Thus the pattern of line-repetition is as follows, where the lines of the first quatrain are represented by the numbers "1 2 3 4":
Yes, it gave me a headache!
LAMENTING
In this single moment
just before the sun begins to bow.
I take time to lament
knowing I must live in the now.
just before the sun begins to bow.
I take time to lament
knowing I must live in the now.
Just before the sun begins to bow
the stillness dims the light.
Knowing I must live in the now
I inhale taking in the night.
The stillness dims the light
a chill covers me with grey.
I inhale taking in the night
watching the cedars sway.
A chill covers me with grey
I shiver in memories past.
Watching the cedars sway
willing time to last.
I shiver in memories past.
I take time to lament.
Willing time to last
in this single moment.
To view other poets visit Poetry Thursday at http://poetrythursday.org/
Photo is by me from my bedroom as the sun is setting.
27 comments:
Very good babe, I wonder who comes up with these names for different kinds of poems.I guess it must be someone who liked to challenge people and really make them think, which of course you did beautifully.Love dave
First, let me congratulate you on being able to keep all those rules straight. You've done a fine job! The structure seems to keep this type of poem very focused because of the repeating of the lines. I really like it...and I may have to go snag a word of my own and give it a try.
I've been off my feed with poetry lately, maybe this will pull me back.
Hope your Thursday is full of exciting possibilities :D
Excellent job, Tammy- but even more, your words really went straight to my heart. We do have to live in the now, don't we? It's all we have...
xoxo
Let me say, you are brave to play with such a complex form...I haven't been up for this challenge in quite a while! I love what you did here, it was soft--the repetition...but the message itself was loud and clear. Lovely.
Love,
D.
Nice work, Tammy! Just thinking about writing a pantoum right now wears me out!
Wow, you do have a lovely view from your bedroom! I am jealous. Gald to see you are getting your toys back in the toybox.
Tabor
Beautiful poem, Tammy. Bittersweet and poignant. xo
And what a gorgeous view! Thanks for sharing the photograph(s) here and the one below. xo
Beautiful poem Tammy! I love the line "I shiver in memories past".
Yet another lesson in styles. Thank you You did a great job. The poem was delightfully written but left me feeling sad. I will be re-reading your blurb on this style - again I thank you for the explanation.
Trying to write a pantoum gives me a brain freeze, yes, just like when you've eaten too much ice cream way too fast.
Now reading a pantoum, especially one so well executed, reflective, understated, well, that's just a dreamy warm desert. Yes!
wow hon ~ you inspire me so much. it has been so long since i've dabbled in form, i really should apply the discipline more often ...
you did such a marvelous job with this, so beautiful and expressive and such a lovely message :)
i am really enjoying the lightness of your new design :)
Incredible! This is really beautiful and touching. I love the lovely way it flows from one line to the next.
Good job!
I love the last one. The picture is so beautiful! *sigh* So peaceful. Someone is bound to see that view and know they have found "home".
:)
I have to try a pantoum now. I have written most of other structured form. Just when I was thinking what else, here I see a pantoum.
Beautifully inspiring post..form, words and picture.
PS: This template loads much faster.
Poignantly beautiful, Tammy - and the picture is lovely, too. Have you thought about putting all your poems together into a chapbook? You've written some really wonderful ones.
XO
I find it's not so hard to write a pantoum, since rhymes are not required, but it's hard to write one that doesn't bog down in all that repetition. I think you've succeeded beautifully.
Well done on your pantoum! We do need to live in the now, you're so right. I like your new look blog!
I was just thinking what Tinker was...you need to oompile these into a book of your poetry.
I never did get into the "rules" of poetry or even the names, but I am impressed with your knowledge. Even more by your poem, it's lovely. The "now" is it, isn't it?
Love you.
That;s marvellous, Tammy. You handled the form so well, not letting the rules take over from the sentiment in the poem. And as a lament, it is a poignant and heart-full one. Thanks.
Very nice, Tammy!
There she is, the beautiful Tammy butterfly, loving all your pics too on the slide and let's really LOVE NOW!!! xoCinda
Tammy, lovely work. It's always a treat to visit you!
Hugs and good thoughts to you.
I love the new look Tammy! And the poem is just as lovely as ever.
Tammy,
I'm running out of compliments and superlatives.
You just blow my freakin' mind.
Hugs,
Nancy
Wonderful poem and kudos on the style ... the view from your bedroom is stunning!! Much peace and love, JP
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