Encyclopedia of Me - "B"

Balance is a big part of my life, both physically and mentally. Physically the only reason I need a walker is because I have very little balance. I can't lift one foot without support and if you turn out the lights on me I'll go down like a sack of potatoes. I use the walls in my house instead of my walker for balance. When I first wake up I groggily become a human pin ball, bouncing from one wall to the next while heading to the restroom. Once in awhile I fall straight backwards without warning. I've learned how to fall over the years but I don't need these skills but once or twice a year. My little dog Nikki used to stand behind me in the kitchen until I landed on her head with my butt! You will never find Nikki behind me and Dave swears I caused her to be brain damaged.

Mentally I need balance in my relationships, responsibilities and my time. I have learned that if I'm not getting back what I put into a relationship I'll back away. I match the effort that the other puts out because I am a reformed people pleaser. I was that person to make most of the phone calls, loved gift giving opportunities and was a good "Dear Abby." I really thought the number of friends I had mattered or my long history with them. It's the quality and give and take in a friend that counts. Now that I'm a little difficult to understand over the phone, shopping is limited and I live 3hrs away from my friends. Those who continue to make an effort are treasured friends.

My kids are under the assumption that I must call them on a regular basis only to listen to their trials and tribulations. What I have been up to seems to slip their mind's. I get called out by my oldest because I talked with my youngest more than her that month...please! I'm calling TK , it just so happens my youngest has to answer the phone...dah! So I let them call me and I call TK. I will not see them together due to their consistent fighting and I prefer mother and daughter visits. Dave and I don't do family gatherings with my family and we like it that way. This is balance for sanity.

Marriage in my case is harder to balance. I hired a housekeeper, pick up, make the bed and manage the finances. Dave does yard, garage, cars, handyman, laundry, cooking, dishes, laundry and works. No balance there! In my head the balance comes in keeping my mouth shut by eating whatever he puts in front of me, wearing blue panties (once white) with a smile, and allowing him remote control power. He respects my alone time, friendships and kid visits. We hope that we will add even more balance once he retires with a few couple friends. We have been married for such a short time we have not made any yet. Dave is not a big socializer but a little balance won't kill him.

There is not a whole lot I can control in my life, no matter how hard I try. Keeping things balanced keeps me positive and sane.