Thursday, August 23, 2007

Poetry Thursday- "Peach Pie"

I attempted a Villanelle poem and it gave me a major headache!


Five tercets and one quatrain plus the Villanelle has two rhymes. The rhyme scheme is aba, with the same end-rhyme for every first and last line of each tercet and the final two lines of the quatrain. I added a rhyme to the second line of every tercet as in the example given...I need my head checked!
Two of the lines are repeated:
The first line of the first stanza is repeated as the last line of the second and the fourth stanzas, and as the second-to-last line in the concluding quatrain. The third line of the first stanza is repeated as the last line of the third and the fifth stanzas, and as the last line in the concluding quatrain. They also suggested I can play with my repeating lines...ha!

I just should have done an "Ode" but I ran out of time messing with rhyme schemes. So here is my feeble attempt at a Villanelle poem for Dave. He has become a constant source of entertainment lately. He was tasting our green apples and white peaches and decided they were probably only good for pies. Dave made, on a whim, his first pie. He was so proud he made a second one a day later. He is so funny! He made a peach/pecan pie with a crumble topping and a apple/pecan pie with vanilla. He made the best pies I'd ever tried and served them warm with ice cream. This from a man that hates to cook. :) I was SO proud! Cut me some slack on repute (it said it could be a noun) and you find words that rhyme with fruit. :)

Repute was used unusually but I got desperate!
noun: the state of being held in high esteem and honor
verb: look on as or consider


In the shade of the peach tree
resting among the fallen fruit.
Wondrous ideas came to greet me.

I shall make a pie I shouted with glee
as I picked my fruit I thought, what a hoot.
In the shade of the peach tree.

I know peeling and washing are key
but that’s all I knew, leaving me mute.
Wondrous ideas came to greet me.

A cookbook lay across my knee,
if I pull this off there will be a repute.
I’ll bask in the shade of the peach tree.

With a pinch of this and that it shall be
a masterpiece that needed no recruit.
Wondrous ideas came to tempt me.

It looks delicious I must agree
as I eat with gusto enjoying my loot.
In the shade of the peach tree.

wondrous ideas came to greet me.


gautami said...

Villanelles are killers. But once you get the hang of it, they flow.

Yours works just fine. I too want a share of tha pie.

Brian said...

You're a better man than me Tammy, I wimp out at the thought of the villanelles.

You did great with this and I would like my slice of pie with ice cream please. :)

Rose Dewy Knickers said...

I was reading your post underneath this, about Balance. I've learned a lot from your words.

The peach pie looks delish and congrats on the poem. Structure is not my thing. :)



Crafty Green Poet said...

this is fun! The pies sound delicious!

paisley said...

wow... i think an attempt is all i would ever be able to make out of all those rules... i would have lost my mind.. you on the other hand did a wonderful job.....

turquoise cro said...

YUMMY poem and YUMMY pies!!!

Star said...

Lots of rocking going on here. You rock with your rhyming and pluck to tackle a villanelle in the waning light of Poetry Thursday. And Dave rocks (double arm pump here) with his instinctive cooking. Well done all the way around!

Pam said...

The only thing better than pie is a "man" made pie! Dave rocks!

I think the poem is quite good myself, but don't intend to try anything that difficult.

Huge hugs, Batman

...deb said...

Delicious! A sweet tribute to your guy. No pits in your creation at all.

Regina Clare Jane said...

Bravo, Tammy, you brave girl! Its so good I wanted to eat it!
What a great guy your hubby is!

Sandy said...

I love me some hot apple pie with vanilla ice cream! Man, now I'm hungry! Thanks for sharing! I think it turned out great!

Clare said...

Hi Tammy! This is so much fun -- and you did a great job with the villanelle! Your line "in the shade of the peach tree" is so pretty -- it made a joyful line to repeat. And Dave sounds like such a sweetheart. I'm drooling for pie as I type.

Fledgling Poet said...

I've never tried a villanelle, but can only imagine how challenging it would pulled it off magnificently! I really enjoyed this. :~)

desert rat said...

Wondrous ideas indeed - it sounds lovely, and tasty! I must remember that the next time I try to write a villanelle (fiendish beasties that they are) - to have a little fun with it! Bravo!

tumblewords said...

I'll not refute your use of repute! The poem is really cool and the pie looks marvelous...

Constance said...

villanelle's are evil, but fun! and all the better with the addition of pie!

GreenishLady said...

Look at you! Villanelles! You've totally conquered this poetry lark, then! so well done.

And I felt lucky to get to taste white peaches from the farmers' markets during my visit, but no-one made me a pie! That sounds wonderful!
I cannot BELIEVE I was so close to your home and missed you! Cannot BELIEVE it! But now I have a better sense of your environment, so that's a good thing, isn't it?

Lisa said...

Your villanelle is great! I enjoyed reading it and the pie looks good too!

Lisa said...

Your villanelle is great! I enjoyed reading it and the pie looks good too!

pepektheassassin said...


Kelly said...

ok, who cares about the poem? now all i want is pie!

giggles said...

Pie Please....send it to Canada express post!! haha! Dave rocks so does that poem...those are hard I attempted on way back....good job...very interesting combinations on those pies...He may very well a pie maker be!

Love and Hugs Sherrie

Caregivingly Yours said...

The whole entry blurred after peach/pecan pie. Dave rocks!

vicci said...

You Go Dave! How awesome Tammy! I bet they were sooooo yummy! let's see how about a grape pie now????? Or perhaps pear?????? :-)
You can freeze unbaked pies!

Nancy said...

I've never heard of that type of verse...nor could I even pronounce it!
I like the way it flows...but more than that...I like that Dave made pie!! Stu doesn't cook either...I think if he did, it would be the best thing I ever tasted too. (well, at least I'd pretend it was)!
Love you,

tinker said...

How do you do these fantastic poems week after week? You're amazing! And so is Dave - you gotta love a man who bakes.
I want some of that peach pie - or I'd take a slice of apple, whichever - but now I definitely want pie of some sort!
I wonder if I could talk Keith into baking one...naw, too hot here still. :)

Amber said...

I like it! And that pie looks yummy.


Chris said...

There once was a man from Nantucket....

Oh, that's a limmerick, never mind:)

Inland Empire Girl said...

I have never tried this type of poem and it was also giving me a headache thinking about it, then I read yours and was filled with lovely images like "bask in the shade of the peach tree" and " eat with gueso enjoying my loot." And your husband baked a pie also... speaking of balance...he creates a beautiful dessert and you write a poem about it!

V said...


daisies said...

i remember when i tried my villenous as i like to call it, poem, eep!! so hard ~ i love yours, is so delicious :)