Wednesday, May 14, 2008

3WW - Flash Fiction

Average - Neck - Scratch

Ella had never been more afraid of anything in her life. If she left her marriage could she stand on her own? He had always told her that no one else would ever want her. She had believed the observations he had spoon fed her over the years. She ate like a bird to remain painfully thin but he always found a flaw. They had a beautiful house on the beach, she was given everything she could ever need, so why did she feel less than average. Ella was beginning to see herself as he was painting her in his verbal lashings. She was lonely within her marriage and knew at her core that there must be more.

Adam threw his key's on the table as he went through the mail. He noticed she was at the kitchen sink gazing out at the ocean deep in thought. She looked beautiful as he watched her silently from the other room. She looked to be preparing his favorite lamb dish. Damn, he was a lucky man! He turned toward their bedroom calling out "I'm home," casually over his shoulder. He would eat his meal without a word of praise and retire to his den.

Ella had slithered out of bed around midnight and tip toed out to the beach. The moon seemed to light up the shore illuminating her naked flesh. She found a beautiful flower along the path feeling compelled to pick it. She held the fragile flower close inhaling its fragrant beauty. As she reached the water's edge the waves were washing over her feet as they began to sink into the sand. She arched her neck towards the sky and began to pray for strength. Standing against the breeze, defying its power, watching as the tide carried away her fears.

Adam awoke to an empty bed assuming that Ella was making his breakfast. He sniffed the air but did not smell her delicious coffee brewing or the aroma of her cooking. Puzzled, he stumbled out of their bedroom into an empty kitchen finding only a note. His name caught his eye as he tried to focus on her distinctive chicken scratch. His heart dropped to his gut as he read the impact of her words.

"I have freed my heart, farewell, Ella."

He fell into the chair, confused, trying to understand why his beautiful Ella would leave him.


Art found here www.deviantart.com

16 comments:

Daily Panic said...

eerie but a good story.
Guys sometimes dont get the fetter they easily apply to a woman.

Punky said...

Tammy what a great story. It kept me in suspense, but yet knew where the story was going.

I think @ some point in our lives we all feel like we need to free our heart.

Just Jen said...

I got an award for you on my blog!
You are truly a natural at this!

Becca said...

Ohhh, Tammy, this was a great story! I like the way you leave the ending a little bit ambiguous - some readers will see that she ended her life, while the more optimstic reader will see it as a new beginning.

You are a very clever writer!

gautami tripathy said...

This is fantastic. I like the ending too. Did she or did she not?

lost to taxes

Geraldine said...

What a powerful, riveting story Tammy. Well done!

www.mypoeticpath.wordpress.com

paisley said...

i wonder sometimes about the totally different experience two people can be having doing the exact same things... this was an excellent showcase for that....

i love you flash,... i always have fun with it when i do one too!!!!

Amber said...

Wow, so good!! And sad, because so many relationships become like this...just missed chances to say what you really think and feel, leading to broken hearts.

:)

texasblu said...

Been there mentally - I do feel sorry for Adam, as he is genuinely clueless. The impact of words is stunning - for good or ill. Great post!

pia said...

I agree with everybody else. Of course were I her, I would have asked why he took me for granted but that's just me

Star said...

I'm with Paisley, I really like how you've used this piece to show how a single series of events can be interpreted in such different ways by the participants. Fatalist that I am, I didn't even allow for the possibility that Ella did not allow herself to be drawn out to sea with the waves (I guess it was the mention of her naked skin; I didn't think she'd be making a break for it in her birthday suit).

Very captivating, Tammy!

Tammy said...

HeHeHe I had never intended to make the ending a mystery but I'm flattered that some think I did. ;)

I just felt she gathered her strength from God and nature to leave him, as in walk out the door.

Thanks everyone!

susiej said...

What a wonderful way to show exactly what happens in so many relationships. Awesome.

Amber said...

Tammy! I have not turned on the tv all day, so I just asked Kory about a fire near you...Yikes! How close was it?? I didn't even smell smoke!

Is it out now?

:)

tinker said...

After that, I bet he really wished he'd been nicer...
I've always enjoyed your essays and poetry - it's so cool you're writing stories now too - I'm really enjoying reading them!
xox

TC said...

Hello Cliffhanger!!!!!

Glad you decided to write fiction this week :) And that she got the strength to leave him.