Friday, June 27, 2008

Friday Updates

Have you ever tried to put a tight jumpsuit on a barbie doll? Well try putting a wet suit on a 46 year old limp body and you have the every other day routine of Tammy and Dave. It's not a pretty sight to watch while he pulls over rolls and wobbly bits. Poor Dave must then get in the pool first to help me out of the hoist and into the pool. When it's 85 outside and the water is 70 it is a shock to your body. So you get a few expletives and major shrinkage from Dave. lol I'm now using 3lb weights on my leg's for a better workout and having that warm water poured in my suit keeps me limber. He gets out and gardens while I workout. He keeps a very close eye on the redheaded seal in the pool. Did I mention I can no longer swim? My dumb bell buoy's are a wonderful invention.


I'd like you to meet Sampson, my new grand dog! His mom is my oldest daughter's new Dopple Dachshund or miniature spotted wiener dog. She wanted to test her readiness for having a baby. Who knew a puppy could be an effective birth control method. I could not decide which was more stressful, a visit with TK or a spaz puppy dog. They are both very affectionate with gramy and so cute.


My oldest, Michelle, has been ticked off at me for about five years. She tried to hide it until I decided to move two hours away. If she were to be honest she has had issues with me since I married Dave. She likes Dave but I think she feels replaced and unappreciated for the years where she was my caregiver/daughter. There is a bond between mother and daughter but then you add the care giving closeness and it's tough to let go. She was already moved out when Dave came along but her perception is her reality. When I rented her childhood home to her sister that was the nail in the proverbial coffin. I had no idea she wanted it due to having just moved into her own home.

Eight months was as long as she could handle without seeing her mom. I sat back and waited for her to figure things out. When I got the call she was coming I was excited and yet apprehensive. She tried to hate the house but couldn't and I was grateful for no angry outbursts. Although her feelings of anger are still there we have moved on. We discussed things over the phone and simply had to agree to disagree. It's called the mother, daughter dance.


Then there is my Nikki. She will soon be ten and it seems our move has also rocked her world. The year before we moved I lost my Manny dog at 17. He has been Nikki's protector and mentor her whole life. She even hikes her leg to pee just like Manny. The vet came to the house to put Manny down and said it would help Nikki not search for him if she was in the room. She still grieved and became clingy. With the move it got worse. She won't go out at night alone, barks the whole time we leave her, poops to punish us for leaving and we have no dog sitter up here. We tried dogie Prozac, a Kong toy with peanut butter, leaving her in the basement with kitty and she now sleeps in a bed by our bed not in it. OK, that's punishing me!

She's making us a prisoner in our own home. We can't travel overnight together and I won't leave her in a car. A kennel would send her into a anxiety coma and little kids and other dogs suddenly freak her out. We just feel bad and yet it's driving us nuts! We are currently trying a beeping collar with a high pitched noise. The vet said to re-train Nikki we must be re-trained...Oy vey! Wish us luck!

A HUGE thank you to Dave for taking me and all that came with me. ;)

17 comments:

Robbin with 2 B's! said...

I'm so glad you have Dave. He's your Knight in Shining Armour, did he come swoop you up on his white horse?
I love your new grand dog, he tooo cute.
Michelle is just beautiful, such a pretty smile. I'm glad all went well with her visit, I forgot to tell you that the other day.
And I hope Nikki settles in soon.
And I hope you have a good weekend. I have to work all weekend, even Sunday, but that is ok by me. Work is good for me these days.
Love ya!

paisley said...

tons of info here.. poor nikki.. too much stress for her.. my dogs never got trained the first time,, so they just do whatever it is they do,, and for some reason that is what works for us... they are 8 and 10 and they have moved 5 or 6 times in their short lives.. but they seem to adapt to anything and anywhere... i would just take it as calmly and lovingly as possible.. the less stress on your end the less stress she will have to react to....

i know this isn't really advise,, but things will work out somehow... she loves you,, she is just unhappy and wants you to know it....

Kay said...

Whew! You had a lot to say and wrote it beautifully too. Thank you.
You have many challenges, but have a wonderful attitude and spirit to turn all to gold.
re daughter - she'll be fine. I'm sure as you wisely give her the space and treat her with the love and patience you already do.
re doggie - Have you ever seen the Dog Whisperer TV programmes - positive energy ... might help, I dunno. Give her a cuddle from me!

kj said...

i read every word and think the world of you. your daughter brought back my own memories--the truth is love will conquer all.

and your dave. lucky both of you. the universe got that just right.

enjoy, tammy! sink or swim? ha! it's so obvious!

bella said...

It makes me so happy to hear of you in the pool, see these pictures of you.
And thank-you for sharing this piece about the mother daughter dance.
I think it is something every woman has experienced, on at least one end.
there is a vulnerability to it, part of the life cycle.
and I appreciated your sharing about it here.

Chris said...

On Dave's behalf, I have to call you out on you referencing his shrinkage:)

Star said...

You and Dave are such a good match. I'm glad the pool has been working out and that you are getting some much-needed exercise.

My mom and I wax and wane in the dance too, although the swings are not as wide as yours. I think all relationships have an element of this and that recognizing it and allowing it to just "be" takes the stress out of it. I have always been a pleaser and backing away from trying to be all things to all people has made life more enjoyable.

Sampson: what a cutie. Nikki: hmmmm. I hope the retraining works, because now that you're in your dream home, you should be able to more fully enjoy it.

Sending summer love--Star

Sky said...

i miss my pups so much (good, long lives at almost 18 and 15.5 years) but have resisted getting another for just these reasons. my life was so tied to my animals that travel without them was miserable because i worried so much. one had separation anxiety when left and cried and the other, a terrier, was so much of a handful no one offered to babysit! friends were afraid he might get away from them since he was as fast as lightening. oh, they were darling, and life is just not the same without puppy love.

anno said...

Tammy, I enjoyed this round-up from your week. Your dogs are darling -- yes, even Nikki! Dave is a hero. And so are you.

tinker said...

Oh, that Mother-Daughter Dance - it does have some tricky steps to keep to the beat, doesn't it?
So glad you're back in sync, again.
And so glad you and Dave have smoothed out the pool process - what a guy, and what a trooper you are, too.
Ah, your poor doggie. They feel so much, and can tell us so little...I hope time will help heal her grief and anxiety. Blessings to you, for all your patience with her...if only we could explain things to them, the way we can with people - no wait, that doesn't always even work with a lot of people, lol. Bless you, Tammy - and your little doggie too~XOXOXO

rebecca said...

tammy, sir dave is your knight in shining armor and you melted his heart with that beautiful face beautiful you!

FYI, if your daughter ever gets tired of sampson, just ship him to me, i'll take him....OMG he is gorgeous!!!!!

mother-daughter relationships - i'll sum it up this way: i've YET to meet a pair that hasn't had their ups and downs. and, i find, the closer the relationships, the tougher the fights. you just have to give it time....it'll be all right tammy, you'll see..

oh, nikki, nikki, nikki...what to do with nikki. don't know. sorry, can't give you any advice here. i have 3 cats. i brought in a female last year and the other female i had did not take too kindly. so every day is the hattfields and the mccoys in my house....i'll just pray for the both of us, how's that sound?

amy said...

Hi, Tammy! I'm enjoying your blog so much. My mom-in-law is Robbin over at Cedar Chest of Dreams, and that is how I happened upon your page. I laughed so hard when I read your comment about puppies being effective birth control. We only have one child. The last time we thought we might be ready for another, we brought home an English Bulldog puppy. That cured us!! Puppies are practically as much work as human babies!!! My husband now jokes that if I start talking about more children he's getting another dog!

Just Jen said...

third day is playing so i stayed and read some more...I like this song :D
i see you're getting good use of the pool!
the new granddog looks adorable!
glad you got out!

Tabor said...

You are really a perceptive old soul when you talk about your daughter's feelings. I am sure you will work this out over the time. She will mature. Sharing someone you love with someone who loves them only triples the love all around!

paris parfait said...

Ah, the mother-daughter dance - am still doing that with my mom. Thankfully with my own daughter, no major issues. And poor Nikki - thank goodness you and Dave are very patient! Sending big hugs from the big city. xoxox

turquoise cro said...

Wish I could come and jump in the pool with YOU Tammy! Poor lil Nikki! Can she go to the old home for a lil visit? Maybe she will like being there for a while while YOU and Dave get away! Good Luck!

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