Friday, June 06, 2008

Writer's Island - "Unexpected" Fiction

She awoke to a blur of movement as she struggled to focus. She could hear voices above her shouting frantically but they sounded muffled to her ear's. Where was she and why could she not ask them what was happening? Usually she would be freaking out and joining in the chaos but she was surprisingly calm. This was not a feeling she was used to and it felt nice, so she closed her eyes to embrace it.

Gently shaken from her reverie she felt compelled to open her eye's as she felt her body rising. She could now see where she was as she looked down from her ascent. It appeared to be a scene right out of ER but without the familiar cast. As a nurse moved aside to grab something she caught a glimpse of a masked, naked and bloodied woman. There was something very familiar about this poor broken...holy shit! It was her! She recognized the bra and heart pendant hanging down the side of her neck. The rest of her body was obscured by doctors and nurses.

She caught a movement off to the right as she spotted Jim, her husband. He was pale and visibly shaken as he watched the horror scene before him. "Jim" she yelled but he could not hear her. "I'm OK, I'm right here" she tried again but to no avail. Then she heard it, that sound from every doctor show she had ever watched, a flat line tone. The chaos began to escalate as she felt herself moving farther away. She wanted to say goodbye to Jim and hug him just one last time but she was drawn to the peace of this unknown journey.

That's when she faintly heard the doctor yell at his team "we've got to get them back!" Them? I looked around and wondered who else was hurt. I fought to halt my ascent as I caught the shock on Jim's face. Jim asked frantically "what the hell is happening?" The doctor yelled over his shoulder "we are trying to save your wife and baby sir, so please give us room here." "What baby?" Jim asked. "Sir, your wife is pregnant" the doctor relied. The shock and horror on Jim's face had to be a mirror image of her own since they were told they could not have kids.

Something clicked inside her head as she fought the peace and willed herself back into the chaos. There was no way she was going to let her precious baby die, she was born to be a mom. Faintly in the distance she heard her baby's cry as she moved towards it with everything she had. When suddenly she felt a riveting jolt as the nurse yelled out "we've got them back."

http://writersisland.wordpress.com/
http://gva.deviantart.com/art/Against-All-Odds-56390285

20 comments:

daisies said...

wow! that was intense ~ you are so incredibly talented, you know that right? 'cause you are :)

Just Jen said...

oh there was a prompt? I guess I misread...LOL
What a good story! You should write a whole bunch like this and see if you can get them published as a short story book!
I'm going to check out 2WW
Here is a link for the strips, I got them at Lewis and Krall, don't know if you have that around there:
http://www.jamiesonlabs.com/en/products/prodvitamins_182.aspx

zetor said...

Powerful words there.

anthonynorth said...

A very intense story, and you certainly got the unexpected right.
Excellent.

GreenishLady said...

Wow, Tammy, your writing is just getting sharper, more powerful with each piece you produce. This is great!

Becca said...

Hey Tammy...about that comment on my blog? You got it backwards...I'm a Tammy wannabee :)

Seriously, this was so good. You sucked me in immediately, the pace was fast and intense, and of course the outcome guaranteed to tug every heart string.

Super duper :)

Amber said...

Thank god for the ending. I can't take anymore sad. lol

You are talented.

:)

Eileen said...

Tammy,
You had me on the edge of my seat! This was so powerful and well written. I too, was happy about the ending.

Keep writing!!

XOXO

Stan Ski said...

A powerful image, and such a relief at the end.

chiefbiscuit said...

An amazing story!
Loved the photos of you and TK - a happy time indeed.

tinker said...

Whew - close call! You had me worried there for a moment for her, them...I'm so glad it had a happy ending! I'm really enjoying reading your new fiction pieces, Tammy - keep 'em coming! :)
~xox

paisley said...

wow tammy!!! that was excellent.. i am really enjoying your fiction..

paris parfait said...

What a powerful story! Great work, Tammy. Have missed you and wanted to phone, but every time I had the opportunity, it was late at night and I was afraid you'd be sleeping. Will phone you soon and am hoping to see you in July. xoxox

keith hillman said...

A powerful piece indeed, and a great read. Thank goodness for a happy ending!

b said...

Beautiful...hopeful!!

b

shubd said...

Such a lot of 'unexpected' turns !
Death , the out of body experience , the return to Life ...

Beautiful and touching story !

Thanks for stopping by .

"SunShine" said...

aha that was really unexpected. like it . nice take on the prompt Tammy :)

gautami tripathy said...

Very intense, Tammy! You do have a way with words!

witchcraft

Rambler said...

a very sensitive story..

Giggles said...

Powerful story so well written!

Hugs Sherrie