3WW ~ Fiction

She lay in the dark unable to sleep. The bed seemed cold as the other side remained empty, untouched. She turned on her side watching the clock change into meaningless minutes. How many nights had she lost sleep, terrified he was dead in a ditch or in the arms of another. Sadly she no longer cared where he was or even if he was hurt. The love she once felt had poured from her body with her tears of hopelessness. She was empty, moving through each day giving to everyone but herself.

The questions that rattled around in her head in these quiet moments had answers. In the light of day the answers became blurred as she dressed the kids for daycare. He had slithered home before day break, into another room, hiding his leftover high. Indifferent to a new day of family and job responsibilities he ignored the lives living around him. She would drown out her cries for help by pushing it aside with work.

He had emotionally beat her down with his addiction. Sucking her in deeper by telling her no one would want her, she was ugly and fat. She thought she could save him from self destruction despite his cruelty. When she had thought he had changed she became hopeful. In those months she had seen the reasons she had fallen for him and naively became pregnant each time. Thinking the love of a family could be stronger than addiction. Her shame kept her down as she looked into her babies eye's. What had she done.

It was a beautiful soul that saw her pain and convinced her of her worth. He was a married man that she could never have and yet he taught her that she deserved love. He reached out out to her despite his own pain. It was not about physical closeness but about two hurting people being there for each other. He helped her see herself as he saw her and she grew stronger. It was an affair that was brief and could never be more. There was not an ounce of regret but instead a grateful clear heart. She finally had the courage to leave her husband and begin a new life.

Telling her husband she was leaving him was easy once she had made up her mind. When he saw her eye's he knew all feeling for him was gone but he could not accept it. In desperation he tried everything he could think of to keep his family together. Promises, more counseling and even flowers did not come close to erasing the scars. He just wanted one good reason why she would tear their family apart. She had left him in her heart long ago and she was done with explanations falling on deaf ears.

It was a long hard road to becoming a liberated woman. What amazed her was how easy it was to lose herself so completely in a relationship. It was not just about her youth or immaturity but about needing to be loved. She saw a pattern of dependency in her search. If it was not a man, it was as a mother and even her job. Forever watchful, she remains true to herself. Allowing relationships to enhance her life not consume it like an addiction.

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http://threewordwednesday.wordpress.com/ Indifferent - Pour - Reason (Fiction)