Sunday, April 25, 2010

Sunday Scribblings - Dinner

When I met Dave he had been a 13yr bachelor that disliked cooking. Spaghetti, his fresh caught fish, frozen dinners and beef roast over rice was about it. When it was nice out on a weekend he would get distracted and coffee was all he ate until dinner. Let's just say eating and cooking are chores to Dave.

Saying "I do" six years ago spoke volumes about his love and bravery. I'm thinking his love blinders painted a marriage picture that was romantic and doable but not very close to reality. This is where the high maintenance, disabled wife shatters his cloudy reality. We had both been in control of our own domains for 13yrs before coming together. Neither liked being "asked nicely" or as Dave says "told what to do." Men and women just hear differently.

Making dinner was made, in the beginning, together as a team. All kissy face and eager to please, so I took advantage of that time to teach him cooking 101. That time ended somewhere in the last six years into a battle of wills. He grocery shops so he thought he could slide back into a hasty, cook on the fly routine. I felt I needed to just be grateful, yeah, that lasted about 10 minutes.

I'm a list maker, he is not. I plan meals, he does not. I need variety, he does not. I had to approach this delicately. I made a list of planned meals but over time he got frustrated with my illegible writing and he wrote my list. ;) Then I'd find recipes and figure out how to add veggies and make short cuts. Anything with over 20min prep was a big no no.

In the early stages of my on the sly training I ate anything he made. I said yum even if I wanted to gag because the teaspoon/tablespoon thing took awhile to catch on. He now can handle "advice" on forgotten ingredients but god forbid if I go in the kitchen to verbally help. That's being bossy which I have discovered is how he take most "advice."

I'm happy to report we have developed quite the repertoire of easy dishes and frozen dinners are a rarity but he still dislikes the whole shopping/cooking thing. He is more confident in the kitchen and on the grill. That's a win win in my book.

12 comments:

anthonynorth said...

A good partnership you've got there.

Giggles said...

I say veggie wraps are a great alternative.... one day bbq boneless Chicken breasts (frozen box from costco)....make extra....the next day wraps almost a cook free day. You can throw anything in those,loads of veggies, salad, change up the dressings, and you have an awesome quick meal. I'm a really fast cook, but we eat piles of veggies in this house....I hope everyone posting in this comment box will share their easy, healthy, yummiest recipes!!! So glad you're back blogging Tammy!

Love Giggles

Dee Martin said...

I bought a Wolfgang Puck steamer pan from ebay for my veggies. It gets used nearly everyday. Hubby does most of the cooking now as he is on disability and I still work full time. He gets inventive occasionally but we have learned shortcuts too. One of his favorite things is to buy a large bag of chicken tenders on sale, marinate them overnight in italian salad dressing and then bake them all the next day. One day of effort translates into multiple freezer bags of ready to heat chicken for the two of us. Great in recipes or by themselves.

linda may said...

My hubby's Mum had him on quite a different diet before we married, and unfortunately it does show up later in your health. I try to do better now days. He eats lots of things he screwed his nose up at before and learned that he liked them.I reckon if you concentrate on what you eat, your food can help your health a lot. I am 25kg lighter than I was 3 years ago.But I don't always obey my rules myself. Hehehe.I am not that good.
Your hubby is a treasure, I reckon he tries and always helps you.

Lucy said...

that is a win/win.. you've got a smart attitude Tam! I agree that easy quick dinners are a great solution.
I have a quick chili/ quick soup and a few others that I would love to email you to 'gift' to dave! xo
(so happy u be bloggin again doll face! ) xox

dorinny said...

When I first met my husband, his idea of dinner was walking down the road to get a Salmon Sushimi Don. Now (3 years later), his idea of dinner is coming home, asking "whats for dinner" and if I didnt plan to make anything, he has a sandwich... heh. Men aren't easy to train when it comes to very complicated things such as cooking. Bless 'em

bunnygirl said...

Funny thing, my husband and I rarely eat meals together any more. It's not a sign of a bad relationship, but we worked different hours for so many years that we got in the habit of making our own meals. Now we have different tastes and different expectations. Rather than fight about it, we just do our own thing.

Meals are a tricky subject for a lot of folks because there's an emotional component that just can't be ignored. Figure out the emotional part, and the rest is easy.

sg beatty said...

Old Grizz knows about men and lousy cooking. I believe it's not built into men but then some of the greatest cooks are men. I guess it is more of "let the little woman do it" than not having the ability. You seem to have come to a great understanding with your man...nice to have you back..hope to read you some more.
thanks for the visit to Old Grizz.

Julie Jordan Scott said...

What a lovely story and example of how to make two diverse opinions into an even better whole...

YAY!

Happy eatings!

eveningstarjilly said...

Wonderful story on the art of getting along and being kind to each other.
Kate

Forgetfulone said...

It's difficult when you've been on your own for so long. In our arrangement, my husband is the one who is pickier while I don't mind eating hamburger helper. I don't mind cooking, though. I just need easy recipes!

Geraldine said...

So true what Tony says, a great partnership. When I met Joe, he didn't know how to cook (we've been together 8 years) but he certainly does now. Lovely post Tammy.

Hugs to you and Dave. G

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