Thursday, July 24, 2008

Growing Pains


I've been feeling like I've lost my blog focus. I'm enjoying my club's, but when you crank out things on a personal deadline they start to become mediocre. I want to take time to go back over my poetry and edit them. Then I want to choose my favorites and bind them in a decorative book. I also want to get back to my "life story" book while attending online writing classes this fall. If I get that laptop, I'd like to do a "daily thoughts" journal too.

Practicing on my blog has become procrastination and in turn I have become dependent on my favorite commenter's (red flag). It's just a wake up call to take a good thing, blogging, and make it better by slowing it down. I want more balance and growth in my daytime writing hours. I've focused on my personal balance with Dave so now I need to keep moving forward.

I'm now able to swim without a wetsuit and more often, so I am feeling stronger. Dave and I are getting out more, playing with the Wii and gardening together. I no longer feel isolated up here but have adjusted to my surroundings in a productive way. Bloggers have encouraged me to spread my wings and I feel ready. I'll still be blogging and reading up on my friends, just not regularly. I still need that practice and of course my friend's. Please don't take it personally if I don't comment regularly but know I'm reading up on you. I just wanted you to know I'm not progressing physically but mentally.

I'm excited to jump in the deep end so wish me luck. ;)

38 comments:

daisies said...

good luck honey ... enjoy spreading those wings :) so glad you are doing so!! xo

Just Jen said...

I'm so happy for you!! I'm glad you're feeling better and enjoying life in the 'real' world! You come back anytime you want and we'll be here, waiting to hear of your adventures!

Mary Timme said...

Wow! This is a red letter day! You are feeling better mentally and physically. That is a great thing! Good for you.

anno said...

Totally understandable... and wonderful news! Glad to hear you're feeling better. Looking forward to hearing about your adventures and achievements!

Michelle said...

I love your blog... just found you a short time ago, following one of the comments you left on my blog. I really enjoy reading what you write, and look forward to reading your posts whenever you have the time and energy to post here.
I've also shared your blog with some friends of mine who lost a son to ALS, they enjoyed your Ghost post for Sunday Scribblings.
I wish you well my new blogger friend, and will check back here from time to time to see how you are!
ENJOY THE DEEP END!!
GOD BLESS!
~Michelle

linda said...

that's really wonderful, tammy! I will miss your comments but enjoy life and jump in that deepend! that's alot more fun. if you want to pop on over to my mountaintop, feel free...I have a feeling I'll be there for awhile longer :P

xoxox

trailbee said...

It seems as though you have been climbing, trudging up, Mt. Everest without a rest for eons. There has to be a plateau for a breather, and I think you have found it, and your need for it. Many of us are in here constantly, checking on you, just not leaving a note. If we can, you can. I'm proud of you. Please say Hi to Dave for me. Hugs, Biene PS Fall writing class? YESSS!

Robbin with 2 B's! said...

Well, ok. But I know where to find you if I need you, which I do and you know where to find me if you need me. And, remember, I want a signed copy of the first book.
Love ya!

emmapeelDallas said...

I always encourage my friends to jump in the deep end!

Best of luck to you.

:)

Sky said...

:)) go, go, go....enjoy it all!

Becca said...

Tammy, enjoy exploring some new avenues and trying out new things. You have so many beautiful and inspiring thoughts to share, so I hope you find the best ways to do that.

Love you!!

TJ said...

So strong you are...so very strong.
Time taken for yourself is a gift we can enjoy so please do so.

I know you struggle...it gives me pleasure to see you words, work and efforts knowing the value of the energy it takes from you.
Love to you and a hug for Dave.
Love TJ

PS. I would jump!

Star said...

This is wonderful news, Tammy! While I love reading your words here, I realize that it takes so much more effort on your part (one-fingered-wonder that you are) than the average blogger.

See, do, be, explore and check back in on occasion to let all of us in on your fun. We'll continue to keep in touch!

Love ya, Star

Joyce Ellen Davis said...

Please let us know how the books, life story, etc are coming along, and don't be a stranger! Enjoy!

Brian said...

And we'll be splashing around in the deep end with you. Balance in all my friend and take joy in everything you do. Have a great weekend.

(((((hugs)))))

Gill said...

Enjoy spreading your wings Tammy. I totally understand why you feel the need to do this. Have fun!!

Love and {{hugs}}

paisley said...

i am so with you.. i am especially guilty, as i have more than one blog.. i am clearing out my focus and have already started a compilation blog with all my best stuff on it,, that is still and will probably remain private for personal reasons.. i am still writing.. just not blog fodder.. glad to hear i am not alone...

tinker said...

Blogging as procrastination - have I ever done that one! Oh yeah...
Glad you're able to get more swimming - and now, more writing, time in...You go, girl! Spread those wings and write, I mean fly!
xOx

Geraldine said...

Blogging without obligation or deadlines is so important Tammy. You are so right about this. When it becomes a chore (and for some, a competition) it's time to re-think why you started blogging to begin with. I love stopping by to read your latest post, whenever they appear. Good luck with all your new ventures. You go girl....

Hugs, G

www.mypoeticpath.wordpress.com

Pam said...

Since we have already talked about this, you know I totally understand. I have had the same feelings about my blog.

You know I am always there to support you and that I love you.

Jan said...

Hi Tammy,
I have read many of your posts and they are all so very beautiful. You are able to express your thoughts and feelings with such clarity and there is 'life' in your writing...and to realize you are able to do this with just 1 finger makes my head spin! I am in awe of your brave and gentle spirit, and I send love and all good wishes and prayers your way. You are a truly beautiful spirit.
Jan

Cathy said...

Dear Tammy,

It meant so much to me to find your encouraging comments on my blog.

Your talent and grit lift my spirits. When I got to this line in your poem I could see, smell and hear the beauty and love you surround yourself with:

I have all I need,

our house in the pines,

a blog with friends, a book of poetry,

along with grandsons covering

empty spaces on every wall,

and the way my waterfall-

runs over rocks-

You've sounded the depths of living with challenges and always come up smiling. I figure that deep end is yours for the taking:0)

Big Hug,
Cathy

JP/deb said...

Balance - I too am working on that. Glad you have so many things that are bringing stimulation and interest to your life. Yeah! xx, JP/deb

GreenishLady said...

Good luck with everything you want to do, Tammy. I'm glad you're pursuing your dreams!

Thanks for stopping by to offer your sympathy on my mother's death. I really appreciate it.

Blessings to you. Imelda

Lucy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lucy said...

oh Tam! So happy to hear your are stronger! You go enjoy life and Dave and everything you love to do. It wouldn't bother me, if you didn't get around to reading my blog, I will still check in on you and I will be praying that I always find you poitive and strong and happy! I wish you All the luck and every good thing in life! You Jump in that deep end girl!! We all have your back! ♥

8:27 PM

danni said...

tammy - i admire you so much - in your shoes i'd probably be wimpy and whiny, but you are never less than an inspiration - you know best what you need and deserve, sweet soul, so you just fly free now and enjoy the freedom you seek in your creativity --- i will so miss the chance to read your stuff regularly, but that's the selfish me --- i don't exactly understand what you asked me about or what morning things are, but please, please feel free to do what works for you --- i'll try and find my way back to visit regularly, but i'm just not sure how to do it --- good luck and God bless!!! - i still whisper your name to Him every day - danni

bella said...

jumping into the deep end!
this sounds like where you are in so many places, ways.
I very much respect this slowing down in the blogging, letting it be what you really want, what would feel most life giving and balanced and nurturing.
may you enjoy the creative unfolding of it all.

Remiman said...

Tammy,
Good for you. I'm excited for you!
rel

Giggles said...

Wonderful, couldn't be happier for you! I think there is a common consensus lately with many bloggers searching for more! So you are not alone. I know I need more creative finesse. Things get so behind. Like you I have poetry I want to fine tune! Good luck, just make sure you keep us abreast of your progress!

Hugs Sherrie

Tabor said...

Odd that you telling us you will not be commenting on our blogs so much sounds like good news to me. I will miss your comments (we all get ego-feeds with the comments) but I love to see the energy in this post and love the fact that you are breaking down the walls and expanding your horizons!

Inland Empire Girl said...

I feel honored to have watched your positive journey through the eyes of your blog. I am eager to hear about what online writing classes you will be taking. My brother does a daily blog post journal thing called "Three beautiful things" every day. That works well for him. Jump high off the deep end.

Eileen said...

Tammy,
Balance is the key, that is for sure. So many parts of your post speak to me. I am glad you not giving up your blog, that would be a huge loss.

Blog when the feeling hits you. We'll be here.

I couldn't get that e-mail to work because our scanner is not working. I tried about 5 times. It is in the new issue of Oprah thou. I think you would like the article. Sorry!

Take care of yourself.

XOXOXO

Just Jen said...

I got gold for you
http://jenshumbleopinion2.blogspot.com/2008/08/gold-card.html
hope you're enjoying your summer!!

THE BLUEST BUTTERFLY said...

Do whatever is best for you and your loved ones. :-) I am glad that your summer has been enjoyable.

Lucy said...

thinking of you today Tam, and hoping the plans are going well. xoxo

Nita Jo said...

Sending blessings of prayer to you and your family. I hope you are enjoying your time, I know how important that is. You are a beautiful light in this world.

Nita Jo

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