My Sunshine

This is my friend Lynne. She has been a mother, friend and a surrogate grandmother to my children. She came by yesterday to meet TK and I just had to get a picture of them. She is my family and a terrific lady.

She is a retired professional photographer and an English major. She is one of those women who is always helping others, very generous and really smart. Lynne currently writes the local Hospice newsletter and gives speeches on the topic of Hospice work.

She is the one that I pulled my hair out to while raising teenagers, introduced me to live theatre, taught me how to budget, brought meals when the kids were not around, took me shopping for clothes, drove me 4hrs to UCSF and 3hrs to UC Davis for doctor appointments and flew to Kauai to be a witness to my marriage. She did all this and so much more!

When we wanted to have a girls day out we would have lunch at "our spot", cruise the book store and hit Starbucks on the way home. She brought out the best in me and is always a great listener. I must move in 19 months and the thought of leaving Lynne is already too much to think about. She will be 2-1/2 hrs away but compared to 5 houses away it seems like another state away.

Within the deeps of her dear eyes
The spirit of the sunshine lies
And when she turns their light on me
The shadows of a lifetime flee
Spring, joy, and love become my part
For she is sunshine in my heart

-Lydia Avery Coonley

I love you my friend and I promise I will write you a poem soon. I need a month or so to over analyze one! TeeHee This one fit for now :)

It's the Little Things

An ordinary day can become extraordinary by the little things in my life.

Watching my little dog Nikki sleeping in her little bed, on her back
with her four little paws sticking straight in the air.

Coffee on the weekends, in bed, watching the sun come up with Dave.

A Polish dog from the stand in front of Orchard Supply.

The smell and taste of TK's neck.

When I doze off and Dave gently pulls the covers up to my chin and caresses my
cheek with his finger, a gesture full of an overwhelming love.

Going to a really good movie.

The smell of camping.

A real big hug.

The squeaking sound my grandson makes.

The way my oldest daughter loves on me, by taking my face in her hand's and kissing
every spot on my face.

Dancing with Dave.

The Irony of a Hero

This is Dr. Richard Olney a professor of Neurology at the University of California San Francisco. I met this man 16 years ago as a 29 year old single mother of two young girls. He was a gentle, compassionate man who had the horrible task of diagnosing me with Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (ALS) or Lou Gehrig's disease. This man was the founding director of one of the 1st ALS clinics on the west coast. He spent the last 29yrs focusing on a cure. I signed up for one of his two year drug trials. It was a blind study where no one knows who is getting the real medicine, you are monitored monthly and had injections twice a day. I really got to know this man and knew someday he would find a cure. You don't sign up to be in a drug trial for ALS to be cured, you do it to help future patients. ALS has a 3-5 yr. mortality rate.

The irony is Dr. Olney was diagnosed with ALS in 2004 and is in his last few month's of life at age 57.

"That's the internal horror for all of us working in ALS and who know Rick, " said Jeffrey Rothstein, a Johns Hopkins University ALS researcher who spoke at a December symposium held in Olney's honor. "ALS and pancreatic cancer are probably the two worst diseases you can have."

He is currently signed up in a drug trial he formulated, it is too late to help him but not future patients.
The bittersweet irony of this disease and this doctor haunts his wife of 30 years. "He's famous for dying from a disease rather than finding a cure for it, " says Paula Olney.

Before the ALS would steal his speech, the doctor made sure his wife would always know how he felt, programming the computer to say, "I love you, Paula."
It's the legacy of a good doctor, who is still making a difference.

I sent Dr. Olney pictures from my recent wedding in Kauai hoping he would be so proud of my health and happiness, back in February 2004. He was thrilled and full of hope for me. He had just found out he had ALS, but never said a word.

MY HERO

You were a doctor yet so much more
you grieved with the families and
held your patient's hands

You have seen this insepid disease
steal the lives of people you cared for
and fought everyday to save us all

You are my hero and I will never forget
the dedication to the fate you have met
you have done your job now you can rest

God is with you and oh so proud
your work will live on and save many
I will miss you and you will not be forgotten

Forgot #7

7. Get my eye's checked ( These word verifications are getting harder to read and if you mess up they add letters!)

It's a New Year

TK is home, Dave is feeling better and Tammy is feeling like it's 2006!

I need to make a few changes this year:

1. Be more creative

2. Less TV

3. Step away from drama

4. Give more to others

5. Create a prayer jar ( Thanks Candace )

6. Soak up my new grandson


Last year was way too busy. I'm a big one on living life to the fullest but this year was crazy!
Dave and I both had grandsons, my daughter got married, we took Dave's mom to Kauai, bought our retirement dream home, replaced our septic system, I was found by my 82yr old (biological) grandfather and lost a grandmother. Let this year be less busy and cheaper!!

Monday Question & 5 Bad Habits

Question: How old is the house, apartment, mobile home, etc that you are living in right now and is it too big for you, too small or just about the right size? You can either answer in the comment section or in your journal and then add a link in the comment section. Thanks!

Built in 1961, 1240 sq. ft., 3 bedroom & 2 full baths. Perfect!

! The Name the 5 "weirdest" habits that you have, and then tag 5 other journalers/bloggers to do the samechain continues... Jolene tagged me! I don't remember who has done this already, so play if you want :)

1. Won't go out in public dressed way down or without a little make-up. I always end up running into someone I know.

2. I will do anything to keep water and toothpaste spots off my mirrors, including brushing in the hallway. Sonicare toothbrushes are the devil :)

3. I hate clutter in my house and car. OCD in picking up stuff!

4. I ALWAYS second guess if I locked the dog gate, doors, turned off appliances, after I have left the house.

5. I will change clothes until I don't feel fat! Dave helps me dress and hates this habit :)

Washed up Weekend!

I'm hanging on to the birth of TK and refuse to let bad feelings ruin the start of a promising new year!

Northern California is starting to float away along with all the good cheer in my family. Jess is exerting her motherly powers over her MIL and getting away with it. The very sweet MIL is scared Jess will hold the baby hostage unless she lets Jess control the house. The new daddy is waiting on her hand and foot on very little sleep and advise from me is not wanted. I have to watch my mouth and keep it zipped...very hard! I'm seeing potential problems but she snaps at me, gosh I hope this is hormones!

My ex never showed up to the birth, yet drove 3hrs to come here to see it. Substance abuse kept him in a hotel room for two days and it made Michelle furious and Jess VERY upset. As their mom I get upset for them, but they enable, deny and forgive. That leaves mom hanging out there fuming! He finally showed with no excuse, but threw money at them to make nice. This has been going on for years, but every once in awhile the mother lion in me comes out.

Dave caught another cold which makes him very cranky, add tons of rain, nothing to do and you get one unhappy camper! He was ticked at the girls for putting up with their dad, feeling a little sad at my "baby tunnel vision" and the fact his grandson's are in another state not getting his attention.

I absolutely refuse to let all this negativity stop me from really looking forward to 2006! I will let it all go and get back to life as it was. I broke my own "no drama zone" rule and need to post a sign to remind myself. May you all have the best year ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!