Sunday Scribbling - "Goodbyes"

My life has been full of goodbyes. Friendships have gone wrong, lovers have left and people and animals I've loved have died. Those goodbyes are very final and can impact our lives in unexpected ways. New friendships are made, hearts can heal and time can turn grief into a dull ache with loving memories. My hardest goodbye has been to my health and it has altered who I am in many ways.

Many people with ALS lose an ability every few months. Imagine going from holding a glass of water one month and not being able to lift that glass a few months later. You have no time to adjust as the next ability begins to leave. ALS is an "orphan disease" because most ALS patients don't live long enough to go out and spread awareness or fund raise for research. One in one thousand will get ALS, but only 30,000 will be living with it at one time. There is little time for goodbyes.

I am in the 1% of people with ALS and that has given me time to adjust to my loss of abilities. My goodbye's are bittersweet but have filled me with appreciation for being given the gift of time to adjust. ALS has taken away one ability but with time has replaced it with another. I've developed strength, compassion and patience. I can reach for an object and drop it five times before I throw it ;) It's a balancing act I've learned over time but It never makes the goodbyes easy. I'm currently saying a farewell to driving. It is a big goodbye because it represents my independence, but I saw it coming and I'm interested in what new ability will replace it. Life as already set the timing in motion for good things to happen. Dave's retirement, our move and my blog will definitely make life more interesting.

I know how lucky I am in being able to grieve the loss of my health. "The ALS Advocacy Community" and "Patients Like Me" websites make my goodbye's less scary and help me become more prepared. I have learned enough in sixteen years to actually be able to contribute to ALS awareness in small ways and I hope to do much more. I just may have enough goodbyes to say hello to a cure.

Unexpected Joy!

I'm thrilled just to have been nominated...no, really! Tara at Paris Parfait nominated me at "Share the Love Blog Awards" I'm in two categories and even being nominated is an honor.

That being said, if you agree you can vote at http://onewomansworld.blogspot.com/2007/01/go-vote.html .

You will see many of your own favorites, so go check it out. It's a great way to read new blogs but congrats to my buddie

Lisa athttp://heartofthenest.blogspot.com/index.html
Tara at http://parisparfait.typepad.com/paris_parfait/
Amber at http://believingsoul.blogspot.com/index.html
Tink at http://tinkerart.typepad.com/tinker_art/
Deb at http://debrichardson.com/blog/

Tara at http://taradawn80.blogspot.com/index.html

In other news, the girls are all moved in with no drama for mama...woohoo! They have a house up here but out of the four only one has a job. Interviews are pending but if I'm not mistaken don't you get a job first? I was already asked to be their personal laundromat but I said no. I said try the laundromat, it worked for me as a working mom for years, but they said "eww."I don't understand why taking buses, using Laundromats and starting positions are beneath them. It's not just my kid's either if you've been watching the Today Show.

I spent my week choosing paint for the new house because Dave's sister is going to help us out by painting. A hallway, entryway,living room, kitchen, basement and dining room. I love color and was going nuts on shades but ended up with 9 different colors...eek! It will take a full week and a huge load off Dave.

Here's to Taking a Chance

Dave and I figured we would go to dinner on our Valentine's Day/Anniversary. We called the new hot spot to "dine" and discovered they wanted $95 per person for their four course Valentine menu. At that price it better come with diamonds!

I got an email from a gal that had put together a poetry reading that featured poems and poets from our area. We were excited and yet curious to attend our first poetry reading. We had some company that day that had stayed longer than anticipated, so we never made it. This gal emailed me an invitation Saturday to a Valentine poetry reading at an historical hotel.

The event is called: "Between the Sheets," a romantic poetry and prose reading at the Leger Hotel in Mokelumne Hill on Sunday, Feb. 11, from 2:00 to 5:00 P.M., where poets, authors, and public readers will entertain guests and all special someone's. Included will be featured poets and writers involved with Manzanita and Writers Unlimited, and friends, as well as the Mokelumne poets, who have prepared some romantic poetry and prose for a delicious, sizzling afternoon. Generous open mic time will be provided for the public to read and share favorite love poems, love notes, and nuptial poems--original fare or those by favorite authors. The group will have poetry selections available for public sharing in case you forget your favorites. Come to listen and/or to read. Humorous, sexy, rollicking, serious, heartfelt, sensual poetry and prose will be on the wordsmith menu. David Sackman will accompany writers on stand-up bass for sultry rhythms.
Optional: $15.00-25.00 range for a special Valentine dinner menu from 5:00 on, following the event, prepared by the talented Leger Hotel chef.
Bonus highlights: creative and fun sensations available from a chocolate confectioner, winery samplings, romantic products from other entities, and an afternoon love fest of words. There will be author book signings and chat time during the half-hour break with refreshments available.
http://www.hotelleger.com/aboutarea.htm will give you the area's history if you're curious because the town has the oldest building in California.

I showed Dave the email and he thought it sounded good! This coming from a man who refuses to go into a Victoria Secret shop. I'm praying his love of poetry about nature will keep him from squirming. It could really backfire and he'll like it so much we might miss the gourmet dinner ;0 We have reservations so I'm thinking this will be the most unique anniversary yet!

One Deep Breath - "Roots/Connection"

I decided to be bold and meditate on my connection with nature without pictures. This is scary for me because my haiku/senryu must stand on their own...yikes! I used my wedding and childhood memories but Issa inspired my senryu on ants ;)

Double rainbows
bless vows as waves listen
God's alter, his creation


Night winds
tossing sleeplessly
windchimes bellow

Morning rain
fragrances are awakened
wet earth plays with senses

Rainbows in puddles
stomped by little feet
wet tarmacs sweet scent

Morning coffee
marching ants across counter
searching aimlessly

Sunday Scribbling - "Chronicles"

A Year of Change 2006

Dave and I decided to take a gamble by buying a dream home near a lake in the mountains, while keeping our current house. We also thought a retirement at age 50 for Dave was attainable, if we sell one house to pay off another by working most weekends on both houses until Aug 2007...HA! It has been a tough year of sacrifice, a bad economy and hard on Dave's body. We chose to live on less to be together for as long as we can, but we are nervous. Caregiving is expensive and with the economy we will have a larger mortgage than expected. We will still make it work, but if we knew what we know now we would have stayed here with financial ease. What's life without adventure and struggle...never boring!
I then had my life changed again by being blessed to watch my first grandson be born. I was told I'd never see my kids graduate, but I've seen so much more. This year was full of his first's and with them I discovered a greater capacity to love. He is now a year old! (See slideshow)
I held the wedding of my first born in the house I raised them both in, as a single mom. It was at sunrise for a new beginning and a preparation of a sad farewell to my home. Both girls are now married...woohoo!
I said a loving farewell to my best friend of seventeen years...my Manny dog.
I was reunited with my only sibling after six years. Besides my girls, he's my only family I really have left. Dad is not around but once a year and mom drowned at 44. So this was huge and yet my family does not discuss my ALS. Oh well, denial is better than nothing.

Create a Connection- Visitor to Your Hometown

Here's the scenario this week. Imagine you've made a connection with another blogger who lives in a completely different part of the world than you do. This blogger is about to take a trip and the connection you've made is so strong that she is going to make your house one stop on her trip. (Yay!) Unfortunately she can only stay at your place for 24 hours (boo!), but she'd like to see some nearby sights while visiting with you.
Keeping in mind that time is quite limited, so you have to stick pretty close to home (although not necessarily right IN your town - just anyplace you could go as a day trip), try looking around you with the eyes of someone who has never seen your area and tell us some things you'd share with...

1. Your visitor wants to see something historical. Where would you take her and why?

The old town of Columbia, CA because it looks like it did in 1850's and they have amazing homemade chocolate and candies. It also has a very quaint tea house just 30min away for a fresh muffin and cuppa tea.

2. She wants to see something hysterical...well, mildly amusing anyway. She'd even go for cute, quirky, odd, or unique. Where would you take her and why?

For cute I would let her meet my 1yr old grandson, TK. Quirky, odd and unique I would briefly introduce my girls. My home fits everything but hysterical.

3. She wants to take some beautiful and/or interesting photos to fill her albums when she gets home. Where would you take her?

We would take a short drive to Yosemite! Picnic and cameras ready.

4. She'd like to buy a souvenir that will remind her of your area every time she sees it. What would you suggest and where would you go to get it?

There are gift shops everywhere in Columbia and Yosemite.

5. Wow, it's been a long day and you're both ready for a snack, or maybe even a meal. Where would you take her to really get the flavor of your area?

We would feast on a gourmet meal at the Columbia Inn. (seen in second picture) I really think to top it all off for dessert we would go back to my house to make smores in our fire pit out back looking at the view (seen at very top) laughing and talking. I did not add the 2 1/2 hr travel time to and from the Sacramento airport ;)

The host was Deb at Red Shoes Rambling http://debrichardson.com/blog/ and to see others go to create a connection http://www.bealivebelievebeyou.com/create/

One Deep Breath- Process/Craft- Tanka Poetry

In a promise
love grows, changes, whispers
carved in human qualities
with simplicity of form
one becomes two
together for all time


This figurine was found by Dave and it is simply us! It's called "Promise" by Willow Tree. To see other process/craft poems check out these gifted poets over here http://onebreathpoetry.blogspot.com/2007/01/week-34-processcraft.html