Sunday Scribbling - "Stranger"

I have often felt, in my journey through life, as if I were a stranger in my own environment. Just when I would start to get comfortable in my life something would invariably switch. Who knew that these different environments I visited were simply a learning ground for bigger challenges I would need to face.

Growing up I lived in a diverse neighborhood where I was considered a minority. I was threatened and teased for my dresses and white skin. I quickly learned to survive by ditching the dresses and embracing the different cultures. I didn't give up my culture, I just emersed myself in the other cultures to fit in. I was given a very unique look at the world at an early age. It shaped who I am today.

In high school I was taken from my diverse surroundings and thrown into another strange land. I was put in a Catholic private school where once again I felt like a stranger. We were not rich and I didn't even pass the entrance exam. I was somehow accepted and found myself in a school where the majority of the kids were white and rich. The economic differences were very clear in the various cliques. My core group of friends were diverse, and yet I could hang with the burnouts as easily as I could be a cheerleader on a Friday night.

Being a working wife and mother did not feel strange to me at all. I just thought it was the natural order of things. I loved juggling a home, kids and work. I didn't even feel strange doing it as a divorced mother because my role really didn't change. My life was full and productive. Sadly that would come to a sudden halt, as my life would take yet another turn. With one diagnosis I was once again a stranger in my own environment.

My life changed drastically as I went from a full life, to a life of isolation and uncertainty. I tried countless ways to adapt, but this would not be as easy as I had anticipated. It would become a journey I had to take alone. I found my inner strength, with the help of my faith, to find ways to stay a part of the outside world. The computer brought me to Dave and a very special love. I found that same computer kept me connected to the world and gave me a voice. I have real friends that I can reach out to all over the world. I can not only fit in, but I can make a small difference.

I will never remain a stranger in my own environment for long. My past has taught me how to adapt and know there is always a way to stay in the game.



Typing a single post and commenting takes a very long time with one finger. I recently had a demo with what I hope to be my saving grace. The Dynovox Eyemax will type with my eye's and will record my voice. I can use my voice or their numerous choices of sultry voices. It is a PC and can even anticipate the next word I might want to type. I can put it on a rolling stand and use it like a laptop. I loved trying it and I can see it giving me many more years of having a voice. I must get approved by the insurance company, but I will not take no for an answer on this one.

http://virtueforall.deviantart.com/art/the-stranger-40532251 PHOTO

http://www.dynavoxtech.com/products/eyemax/ SPEECH/EYE COMMUNICATION

http://sundayscribblings.blogspot.com/ WRITING PROMPT

November Roars!

November crept up on me while I had simply turned my head. In my mountain retreat the roses were still blooming among the colors of fall, in the warmth of October. As the cold began to settle in the corner of every room we still denied November's appearance. The rain came in the night blanketing everything in pine needles. The smell of our first rain and a wood fire, quieted my spirit.

On November third I celebrated my daughter Michelle's 25th birthday. I had sent her a beautiful "Willow Tree" figurine of a mother and daughter. The company sent the wrong figurine and out of all the choices they had, they sent her a figurine of a beautiful pregnant woman. Good thing my daughter is working on starting a family, that could have been a pushy gift. Now she looks at it as a good omen. ;) Happy Birthday Shell, I love you!

I'm all for change and I could not have been prouder or happier on November 4th. I cried and cheered as I felt the wave of hope for a new future. We have boasted of the wonderful diversity and freedom of America. But I was seeing a different America, one of racism, apathetic youth and intolerance. I have hope, that with patience, we can walk the walk. YES WE DID!

During this exciting week of November I have also been given a gift, but at a price. ALS gives you an abundance of patience, so when I lost my smell and taste with a sinus infection, I just lived with it. That was over 18 months ago. Two courses of antibiotics helped a tad but never for long. Although Dave loved the no complaints on his cooking skills, I was missing out and fed up. I found an ENT that found both sinuses full of polyps. He put me on an aggressive treatment of steroids, a month of antibiotics, steroid spray and Musinex. I can now smell and taste! YAY! I will have surgery after treatment to avoid a repeat of this treatment. I had forgotten that I deserve the best quality of life I can. Shame on my complacency.

ALS does not do well on steroids because it makes you very jittery. When muscles are already stiff and balance isn't at its best, you just make do. I've taken a half of a muscle relaxer to counter act the effects, which made for a comfy MIA blogger. I've been trying not to walk too much while my body fights its dueling drug war. There are the perks, like my face has puffed up so much that I'm watching my wrinkles disappear before my eye's. I also now have fat little feet that I keep snug in my new slippers Dave surprised me with. No more freezing skeleton feet!

I've read all your entries, but I fell so behind that I'm starting fresh on commenting. I will be off the steroids in five days and I have so much more to share with you about this week. I will be testing out three manufactures for voice banking and typing computers for the disabled. They record your words in your own voice. The computer will then type for me by looking at the words I've banked by head pointing and blinking. Very exciting news for my one good typing finger! A new ALS clinic is also coming to Sacramento. It will provide specialized medical care and drug trial opportunities. Do you hear the roar?

I will never forget the cost of our freedom and our brave soldiers. God bless them!

Sunday Scribbling - Scandalous

Have you got some juicy gossip? What about a bit of scandal? Have you caused a commotion in your life? Would you like to? In this week full of politics and financial woe, let's add a bit of spice and fun, shall we?

OK, I'll give you a commotion that everyone found funny but us. I must start off with what I call a "scandalous event." Before Dave retired from a national lab we carefully chose their best health care plan. It would cut into our retirement income, but with ALS we felt it was important. When Dave retired we found ourselves in a pickle. We could not sell our old house to pay down the new house.

Dave got another job with the school district to cover both mortgages. We found out we had to pay for two health care plans, but could only use the new one. GRRR! Some people have nothing and we have too much! Here's the kicker, the national labs health cost went up by 35 million this year. So what did they do? They are taking the good insurance away from retired employees and their spouses on Medicare. (Dave and I, because I'm on it. ) We must now find a medicare supplement. We are sickened that they are, in my opinion, taking advantage of the old and sick. We have yet to discover all the differences we will be forced to face. Thank goodness we still have a good insurance from Dave's current job, for now. What about the retirees who have only until Jan. to figure it all out? Shame on them!

Now for a bit of fun commotion in our last summer project.

We have been really good about paying bills on time, no credit card debt, no car payments and cash only purchases. Gold star? Nope! We can't seem to build up our savings. I could blame it on Dave's plant addiction or our old house repairs, but I made a big boo boo with one simple statement. "I hate that grey gravel, can't we put stone with moss in that small space?" Sweet hubby responds " I guess." Who knew rock and moss would cost a fortune. Dave bought what he thought he needed, but he was short three times. ;) Do we leave it half done or go for it? Economy crashes and I say "go for it." We spread the project out over 2 months and it is now called "Tammy's $1000 path." I always respond by saying "I'd never had bought the rock at that price." So on it goes. lol

Dave says it looks nice but not a thousand bucks nice. I am fully responsible for our biggest summer commotion and lowered savings account. Who in the heck can save 6mos of two mortgage payments, as suggested? I like it, but just don't bring it up when you visit while enjoying your smore. LOL

Health care photo http://miquu.deviantart.com/art/Cutting-healthcare-84166071

http://sundayscribblings.blogspot.com/

EMPS # 9 - Happy Halloween

I'm not a holiday person now that my kid's are grown and grand kids live far away. Dave is a Christmas person so we definitely celebrate that one. I find it all too commercial, but enjoy the tree and lights. On Halloween we are the house that turns off all the lights and watch TV in the bedroom. Dave is at work during prime trick or treat hours. If I had to get up at every knock the kids would be adults before I'd reach the door. ;) I decided to not be a party pooper by skipping tthe prompt. I found what I had packed away since my kids were little and decorated my tea cart for this shoot.

The pumpkin is fake, I bought a pumpkin candle, pulled out a pumpkin tea pot and picked a few of my apples. I had to sneak the candy from Dave's private stash and it's already gone. ;) The vase is filled with brown glass rocks, orange water and floating rose candles. Tada!

( Click for better details)

This is as scary as it gets at our house, unless you count Dave's skinny white legs. LOL He let me take a picture to post, but they are scarier in person. He has the twigs and I have the trunks.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

http://ellipsissuddenlycarly.blogspot.com/2008/10/ellipsis-monday-photo-shoot-9-happy.html#links

ALS Walk Part II

It was a beautiful autumn day that was unusually warm. I was stressed and nervous on the way as I wondered who would show up. Being captain, I had to make sure we stayed together, the banner could be seen and that my team got registered. It was not the most organized event I've ever attended and I saw no TV/radio coverage. We could not hear the microphone, but we heard the band. Maybe we were in a bad spot, but we were by the start of the race. Sacramento is the capital of California, what's up with that? I did write to the governor and a large newspaper, with no response. Next year I'm dragging news and radio vans out there if I have to lay on the capital's steps!

Seeing my family and friends arrive made it all worth it. My t-shirt was looked at by many, but mainly I saw conversations about it. A family was walking for their dad who had passed last year. They happily approached me after seeing my shirt. They were excited that I had survived for so long. Another lady approached me over the shirt. Her hubby had just been diagnosed for 3 mos. It gave her hope. Yay! I wish I could have met more people but it went so fast! I met Stephen who has had ALS for 3yrs and he looked great ( another slow progressor), but I got pulled away before I could really chat.

My kid's got along and everyone who said they would walk, walked. My grand pups acted like uncivilized puppies (dah!) and my oldest got stressed, but that was it. I didn't want it to end, so next year I'm thinking a picnic in that park would be cool. I learned a lot in my first year. Many donations did not get on my page, so we brought in more than $2000. I know a lot of people that don't do much on computers and were confused. Thanks again to all who supported me, even in spirit.

The Walk

The golden leaves of the park

fell like confetti in celebration,

of our special day.

Angels arrived in curiosity,

looking for familiar faces

through trees of gold,

anxiously looking about

to find a single group

gathered under a tree.

I see them, or I think I do:

those familiar faces I love,

shining bright as the sun.

Laughter, hugs and chatter

blends into the growing crowd,

and still there is a sadness.

Together on our path.

We are reminded of the fallen.

Who strengthen our stride

as we walked in their name.

We moved forward as one.

In a swelling sea of hope.

We gave of our money

in the toughest of times,

for those who suffer.

We walked for our friends.

We walked for the family

that continues to fight.

Five for Fighting is releasing this track on their next album. The singer, Eric Lowen, has ALS and emailed me after the walk. The choir is all ALS patients with their caregivers and families. This is to raise money and it's a great song.
http://www.whatkindofworlddoyouwant.com/videos/view/id/884613

Sunday Scribbling - What's Awesome About You?

This Saturday I did my first ALS walk. This event is a good way to show off my better attributes. I read this weeks prompt and was thrown for a loop. How do you write what's great about yourself without sounding like you're all that and a bag of chips? After this event I thought the timing for this prompt was perfect. I'm hoping it shows I'm lovable, a survivor and one lucky lady. The blog community, my friend's and family helped me to raise over $2000. This event made my heart soar! Who knew my journey, in my own words, could touch people all over the world. We received donations from Australia, France, Canada and all over the US. We did it WARRIORS!

Do you recognize this blogger? Annie and her family raised over $300. You can never convince me blog friends are not real friends.

How about this blogger? Amber and her family walked on my team. Blog friends are beautiful and I fell for Wyatt. What a great kid! Georgie was shy but shined up on her daddy's shoulders.

I walked for 5 minutes and then went to my wheelchair, but at least I gave it all I had. Tenacity!

These are my friend's and family who walked by my side. If you zoom in you can see my friend Pam. I walked for her, since ALS has not been kind to her this summer. (In photo on banner) I also walked in memory of my dear friend Helen, who lost her battle with ALS. (written in lower left corner). Hopefully they think of me as a loyal friend.

I'll get a full team shot and share when it comes out. I also have more fun shots for Wednesday. We had 25 walkers. ;)

http://sundayscribblings.blogspot.com/

Photo Shoot - "Reflections"

Reflections

An early morning in Fort Bragg.

Light reflecting on ocean. (Find Spongebob Square Pants in the water)

Tootsie reflections.

Extra credit: Trick or treat? Is anyone home? I love the lips and head piece. ;)

http://ellipsissuddenlycarly.blogspot.com/