Crazy Daze of Summer

I have had the honor of receiving The Reflection Award by Sherrie at http://happytiler.blogspot.com/ AKA Giggles. When I read Sherrie's words I can feel her heart and I have always felt she was a kindred spirit. She is someone you would want in your foxhole and her taste in music and color ROCKS! I'm thrilled she thought of me.

I'll will nominate 5 bloggers that are an encouragement, a source of love, impact me in some way and who has provided a Godly example. In other words, five cherished bloggers whom, when you reflect upon them, you are filled with a sense of pride and joy.

Pam at http://capeandtights.blogspot.com/ is my biggest source of love and encouragement because she really gets life with ALS. I'm so proud of her spirit and will to fight. Not to mention her art and poetry is beautiful.

Star at http://thefriendliestflower.blogspot.com/ has taught me to see beauty in things around me that I was missing. She is a loving soul that makes you yearn to sit and just chat with her. I love her simplistic look at life and the beauty she sees. I'm drawn to her beautiful writing and poetry style.

Tink at http://tinkerart.typepad.com/tinker_art/ simply puts a smile on my face with each post. She is so funny that if I'm having a bad day I start with Tink's blog. It's almost better than coffee. lol I'm proud to have her art hanging at my desk each day and I smile thinking of her.

Becca at http://beccasbyline.blogspot.com/ teaches me how to be a better writer by taking me along on her own journey. Her comments always lift me up and keep me trying. I can't wait to buy her first book. :)

Patrick at http://journals.aol.com/daddyleer/CaregivinglyYours/ gives me hope that love can conquer all as he writes about his roll as a husband, father and caregiver. Amazing man!

Place the icon on your blog, write a blurb about each one, and then notify them about their award!


I had to have a second mammogram of a "suspicious mass" found at the nipple area. It's never pleasant to have that flattened into a THIN pancake! Then I was whisked away for an ultra sound only to have that area uncomfortably probed, over and over. I was told it is a good sign it hurts because cancer don't hurt...whatever! While typing this I found out it is an abnormal mass and I see a surgeon Thursday...geesh! I'm guessing a fibroid tumor (non-cancer).

I took a fall this weekend that really shook me up, but mostly scared Dave. The crash was loud and I cried on impact but only out of fear, not pain. Dave ran in and saw blood and instinctively lifted me roughly to my feet, wishing me OK, instead of checking first. lol Once up and noticing nothing was broken my job became reassuring Dave. Still in shock mode there was no pain so I said "lets eat breakfast it's getting cold." While eating Dave watched my precious blog finger get blue and swell. That's when I freaked "not my blogging finger!" I said it's Sunday Scribble day, so I forced it into action...whew! That was close! ;) He came home from the grocery store with silly putty and a squishy light ball to work my other fingers. He felt I needed a back-up blog finger. He is the best! I'm bruised and sore but my spirits are high knowing I have Dave.

The best part of the week was my day with TK. We dressed up to go to the movies but his mom felt he might not want to stay in his seat...yikes! We decided having lunch and watching "Happy Feet" at my house was a much better idea.

I loved his new outfit and spiked hair!

No I don't dress up to workout but my daughter wanted a demo, so she took a picture for you guys. I'll be a buff cookie by October 1st when I fly to Maine to see Pam in Vermont. Thanks to all the bloggers in New England for emailing attractions along our route. Pam also had a fall this week but is mending well. We both have matching left thigh bruises, see we are soul sisters. lol We vowed no more falling this year!

No house or job nibbles near home yet but Dave's having a retirement BBQ on the 7th, on site. I must be badged to go but I'm excited to meet his co-workers after his being there almost 25yrs. If no job offers he will stay at his old job until he gets one. We are not as stressed because he will get a job eventually, he has one until he gets another and next spring might be a better sellers market. It's still a bummer but not forever.

Sunday Scribbling - "Phenomenon"

I'm pretty sure the biggest phenomenon that has changed my life is blogging. Before I caught on to this "latest thing" I was a housebound, disabled, water aerobic, soap watcher. Most of my friends from my childhood lived far away and my "country" friends had jobs. I had inadvertently isolated myself from the world while seeking out a slower way of life. I also did not think I had a creative bone in my body, so computer technology was zipping right past me.

If you had told me that I would be writing poetry and letting complete strangers read it, I'd swear you had been smoking something. I learned to express the words that filled my heart and see a new world through the lens of a camera. Oh, I can't forget the part that I can say what ever I want and show off my grandson. :) My world grew into a much happier place, full of strangers I now think of as friends, creativity and filled with the power of words. Because of blogging I will brave cross country travel and meet my female cape crusader, batman ( Pam, a fellow ALS warrior). Not to mention two bloggers I have found close to my new home.

I have seen bloggers share pain, art, death and illness. They are embraced, encouraged and cared about. I've seen writers get published, artists open up shops and children shared and celebrated. I see blogs that now sway politics and because of their many voices, I have seen and learned much more than my local news could ever alert me to. I'm not speaking of MySpace when I refer to blogging, although I'm sure there are great MySpace pages. I'm talking about real people who publicly share their real lives in hopes of making a difference or leaving a legacy.

I got an email from a lady who said she knew me as a baby and was my mom and dad's old neighbors. They said they found me on my blog, but I could not figure out how, since that was two last names ago. It was actually very easy to find me and it turns out he used to work with my husband Dave (small world!). They knew each other until he retired a few years ago. From my blog they learned mom was gone now, where my dad is and that baby they knew is now 46. They found me by googling my mother's name and got my post on mother's day from 2005. Makes you wonder who reads our blogs that we don't even know and never will. Big brother? Nah, TK and my poetry is not that interesting. lol

It's not such a small world after all if we can reach out across the world and connect in unimaginable ways. Blogging can be a wonderful tool if the government, fanatics and the loonies stay out of our way. Blogging makes the world a smaller place and contributes to sharing, learning and tolerance.

My blogging finger has good blogging manners, but at 46 I do have trouble remembering who has left a nice comment, so pardon me if I ever miss your kindness. I really do care about the people who have encouraged me and touched my life. Thank you!

The photo is from Screenshot-Michael Bretherton

Poetry Thursday - Gladiolas

Gladiolas

The gladiolas wait patiently

wrapped lovingly within

showing their rumbled

slips giving away secrets of

delicate color through

spirals of green, rising tall.

They hesitate in their bloom

to a world that doesn't

seem to notice the dangers,

or fears of an earthly death,

but today, this year,

their bravery

emerges like a child

as it unfurls its brilliance

with blinding color.

The sun beats them down,

bending, from its glare

shining through the bloom

unknowingly revealing true

beauty and strength.

They drink in my tears

lifting heads to the sky,

defying its intensity

of human folly.

They sway in joy,

as the hummingbirds flit

in a dance of feeding flirtation,

delighting in their sustenance.

What will become of them-

next July as the heat gets

hotter, cold gets colder

and earth begins to falter?

I've been watching my glads struggle this year due to an unusual winter and sweltering summer. I watch the hummingbirds dance around the survivors and it made me ponder global warming. I used my fear of the unknown to be my muse.

Sunday Scribblings - "Wicked"

This is my married, 23yr old daughter, Michelle. When she hit 14 life became a roller coaster ride than neither of us will ever forget. We each remember those hormonal years differently but the mother and daughter issues will go down in family history. Was she wicked? Nah, just angry.

At 14 she joined the boys wrestling team because it brought her closer to her dad. He coached her high school team and he loved wrestling. Michelle was 4'11" and had an athletic body with 36D breasts, which was not the norm. This was not a popular choice of sport for her with her peers, teammates, opponents or MOM. Her anger started building from being teased, yelled at by dad and shunned by the girls. I caught the fallout and yet still had to keep her on the straight and narrow with rules. She took third at state in the woman's division but with her accomplishments came an aggressive nature with a potty mouth. Wicked? Nah, she was wanting acceptance.

Over time I became afraid of my daughter's temper. I never believed she would hurt me physically but she exhausted me by not accepting no and the boundaries of my illness. My kids don't remember me being healthy and grew up learning to be self-sufficient. They hated it and would often play the "Cinderella" sympathy card with anyone who would listen. I had a housekeeper and gardener so they didn't do much more than my generation. Their friends, however, had little to no responsibilities, so my kids felt over worked and under appreciated. Michelle wanted to be liked and do all the cool things, but me and my illness was holding her back. Wicked? Nah, to be expected.

Fast forward to a 23 year old married Michelle with many wonderful qualities. The anger is still there lurking beneath the surface. I'm still not able to relax around her completely due to her emotional outbursts, but she is my daughter and I love her. Last night she warned me that she MIGHT be pregnant and because I know her best, she was nervous to tell me. I did a fine job of letting her know what a blessing a life is and how could I be anything but happy. I did mention that until she knows she must not smoke anything. I had to be me or she would have asked if it was really me on the phone. lol Maybe it will soften her? To be really honest my first thought was I hoped she would have a daughter. Wicked? You betcha baby!

To be continued...

Home Sweet Home!

Sun kissed apples

Under the grape arbor

Mingling fruit!

Just peachy!

What a long week of working on the house! I watch and Dave works. I nap and Dave works. I watch three fuzzy TV stations and Dave works. I did try out my Chuck Norris "Total Gym" given to me by Dave's sister when she was up here helping out. I managed to figure out how to workout using the machine at my ability. I kicked some major butt and feel a good burn, so we dragged it home. I want to build muscle for my road trip this October.

We found a surprise plum tree and separated bulbs for next Spring (notice the "we"?). lol We are one full day away to being done on the inside of our house but the outside needs some major loving. We enjoyed discovering the fruit out back and all the possibilities for next summer. Still no offers or traffic on old house so today my "soon to be retired husband" is job hunting...it sucks!

The best part of the trip was getting to meet an amazing blogger named Vicci. She lives 20min away and drove over to the house. We chatted like we've known each other for years and she has an enormous heart. Very real, down to earth and a happy camper! I struck gold with my new neighbor, even Dave took an instant liking to this lovely spirit. She brought us homemade jelly, so I gave her my backyard to do as she pleases this summer. :) I can't wait to taste my yard by Vicci. BTW her birthday is Saturday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY VICCI! http://moonstarsandpaper.blogspot.com/

When we arrived home yesterday afternoon a huge tree branch had fallen across my car, filling the driveway...geesh! Luckily our neighbor helped chop it up and took it away. Thanks Rick! Dave's working vacation didn't need that headache. I have over 200 posts to read and I will do what I can but TK is on his way to hang with gramy! Have a wonderful weekend! XXOO

Gone to New House! See ya Thursday!

I'm planning my roadtrip through New England and this is our condo near the Mt. Washington Valley and Saco river in Bartlett New Hampshire.

I can do my water work outs. Woohoo!

Kayak...maybe?

This is the place in winter and I thought it looked pretty. :)

I've contacted bloggers from Maine to Vermont to make we don't miss a thing.

Portland, Maine - New Ham Hampshire- Vermont

Please add your own must see attractions!

The batmobile awaits!

Sunday Scribbling - "Hair"

I was always a high maintenance woman when I was working. I had the nice suits that had to be dry cleaned and the leather pumps to match. In those days I even bought nice under clothes that had to be washed by hand. I was hard on nylons, however, (yes, they wore those in the old days) so I always had an extra "control top" egg in my car. Do they still sell nylons in silver eggs?

So you're now starting to get the picture, but it didn't stop there, oh no. I had my hair permed, cut and highlighted at regular intervals along with acrylic "french tip" nails and toes. The finishing touch was constant grooming. I shaved and bathed every day and never left the house without my full make-up routine. I still can't believe how I raised two girls, worked full time and kept that up everyday.

Fast forward to an early, unwanted retirement being a useless house mom. I went from high maintenance to fried hair, broken nails and sweats. Being a single mom with a disability did not allow for a clean house or creative dinners, but I tried to keep my spirits high by dressing, bathing and adding a dab of lip gloss on occasion. I didn't want to embarrass my kids at soccer or parents night. It took four years to get comfy in my own skin and find a balance for retirement in my 30's. Not to mention the only man in my bed that would notice hairy legs had four of his own.

Fast forward to 4 years ago, when I began to date Dave. I had to find ways to feel sexy and yet still be me. Shaving body hair was the most challenging. It can be very dangerous when holding a razor with a shaky hand so I used the dreaded Epilady. It pulls your leg hairs out by the roots so you only need to use it once a month. You only cry in the spring when your leg hair is long enough to use a hedge trimmer. I did add a bit more make-up because at 46 bed head with the natural look can be scary. I still dressed casually but used flattering colors which is difficult to find with elastic waists.

My most daring move and biggest change was the hair. Two weeks before my wedding I cut it off with my husband to be by my side. Why? Washing and blow drying was zapping my energy after a taxing shower. I cried at first, because as a woman my hair was very important to me. Not only did the cut not look like the sexy Alyssa Milano from Charmed but I was GREY! Dave took me home and added some color. He decided he liked it but everyone knows men like long hair better (hey, he loves me). I cannot believe how freeing it was to cut it off and in doing so I realized that sexy comes from within. That's not a cliche' because I've lived it. I can be sexy with a boy cut, winter hairy legs and casual clothes. It's all in the TUDE!

Poetry Thursday- "Battle of Summer"

Battle of Summer

Wearing humidity like a heavy wool blanket
she yearns for summer to turn into fall.
She prays the weakness is only the season
which used to bring her such joy.
Now it's only a lock on the door
holding her down.

She floats through the reeds
with her head held high.
A picture of grace and beauty
flows in her silent wake.
Fears gently tucked away
leaving a strained smile
wrapping those she loves
in reassuring glances.
Grateful for the love
lifting her higher.

When the cool of fall bursts forth
her spirits and energy will rise.
The battle will begin again
as I stand by her side
holding her shield.

This was inspired by my friend Pam who lives in Vermont. She is struggling with her ALS due to a very hot and humid summer. It exacerbates ALS and dampens your spirits.

This fall (1st week in Oct)I will stand at her door and be able to hold her for the very first time. We are the dynamic duo, Batman and Robin, to everyone who reads our blogs. My girlfriend Sherrill of 28yrs is using her vacation time and timeshare to escort me across the country to meet Pam. A girlfriend road trip through Maine, New Hampshire and Vermont. WooHoo! The leaves will be turning and I will be with Pam. Thank you Sherrill and Dave for the best birthday ever! Please keep good thoughts for Pam during this torturous summer!

Pam is an incredible artist and is now using her computer to continue her passion. This is one of her pieces.

http://capeandtights.blogspot.com/

Sunday Scribblings - "Time is Slipin' Away"

One thing Dave and I have learned in our very short journey together is to not wait for what we want. We have responsibly raised our children and now it is our time. We want to go after our dreams and not keep waiting for "the right time" or "when we get the extra money." The right time is now and there is not usually extra money waiting in the mailbox. We don't do credit but instead we constantly move forward in baby steps toward our goals.

Dave will retire at 50 and we will figure out a nice living on less income. We will eventually live in our mountain home (the minute this one sells) surrounded by Dave's flowers. For my birthday I will fly across the country to Vermont to visit my blog buddy and fellow ALS warrior, Pam. Time goes by in the blink of an eye as we watch another season pass. We will figure out a way to fulfill our dreams now and not wait until time has slipped away. We are cautious by nature yet hold each other up to fight our way through the fear. Yes, we are motivated by my illness to hurry things along, but we don't want to waste another minute on "someday."

A Very Good Day!

Deviled egg delight

yummy way to start the day

yellow fuzzy chick

A kiss by the pool

hamburgers sizzling on grill

root beer floats must wait

Watermelon cools

sticky sweetness dribbles down

a July scorcher

I really enjoyed this 4th of July because now we have the added entertainment of TK. I know I'm bias but he has personality to spare and is always performing. It was 104 degrees out back so we set up his pool under the gazebo. Dave grilled while TK's mom and dad chased each other with the hose. I was hand fed chips by TK and recieved a kiss after every thank you. I'm soaking up these kisses because they won't always come this freely. TK also learned that with bare feet on a brick patio he had to run over the sunny parts and he could walk in the shady spots (too funny to watch!). He is very tough and not whiny. If he heard Justin Timberlake on the stereo (Summer Love) he would stop everything and go into his hip hop moves (his parents are not fond of Timberlake, but TK is). He really has some moves and is a huge fan of "So You Think You Can Dance."

While the evening was winding down a realtor showed up to show the house. Everyone jumped into action. Dave grabbed Nikki, Jess and I straightened up rooms when they were looking outside and TK's dad had gathered TK stuff. It was amazing teamwork! Even TK stopped to chat with them, stalling, so we could make the house nice. Who looks at houses on holidays? We get no action on our open house and we begin to put our guard down and boom. No offer either...grrr!

I really enjoyed the day! I hope yours was special too. :)

Happy 4th of July

Celebrate and count your blessings!