The Daily Warrior

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Poetry Thursday- "Unfinished Conversations"

Mom married too young to the wrong man at 16. She was a strict mom who showed little affection. I later realized she was a very unhappy woman with her life choices. I hated her for the verbal abuse but always needed her approval. When I had my children I had hoped for a new and better relationship with mom but at 44, my age now, she died. It was a scuba diving accident that suddenly took her away. I felt sad and relief at the time but now I feel I know her better. We left our relationship unfinished so I felt inspired with today's theme to write a poem. Today is her birthday.

Unfinished

I stood at the open doors in a mindless shock
walking the red path with eyes focused on you.
It finally felt real seeing you lying there so still
I looked at you wondering if you loved me at all.

Over the years your unhappiness smoldered into a
consuming rage that burned all who tried to love you.
I took cover from your rage fleeing into the flames
I became all that you feared I would be. I was you.

It was my turn to be filled with rage and sadness
you left in a heartbeat with so much left unsaid.
You never allowed me time to grow into my own
so I could show you a woman worthy of loving.

Life got my attention making me wish you were here
but you would be proud of the woman I've become.
I took my power back setting a new path filled with
obstacles I'm happy to jump, just breathing the air.

Looking back I see you through a woman's eye and
a mother's heart knowing how life can beat you down.
I have forgiven you your trespasses knowing the depth
of your pain. I will always remember you loved me.

Happy Birthday mom, I love you too.

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Round Robin Photo Challenge-"Summer Garden"

Gardening is a true calling for my hubby and has brought color and joy to my life. rRose of http://journals.aol.com/rrveh1/WAIT-NOTYET-/ has asked "How does your garden grow." I found some pictures of how are garden looked this summer. The deer were eating Dave's flowers the other night so he has sprayed smelly stuff all over the flowers to keep them away. He's fighting mad so they better watch out! We need these flowers to dress up the yard for my daughter's sunrise wedding. The yard won't be very bridal with just stems and leaves.
His Begonias that he adores
Our swing with white rose petals
BBQ among the flowers
We have four 8 ft Jasmine bushes up against the house near windows. We hope the neighborhood likes the fragrance ;)

See other gardens here

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Self Portrait Challenge- "Enclosed Spaces"

WEEK #2 as "embrace"

This week was a rough week and I needed extra TLC. I got the idea of an embrace for my enclosed space and I liked it even more as a painting. Hubby says it looks like we have a skin disease so I am showing my two different versions and you can decide :)

One Deep Breath- "Scenic Routes"

Growing up as a kid most of our vacations were spent in a RV. We traveled all over the united states on some pretty amazing scenic routes. I was entering puberty and hated every minute of it. I crawled up above the drivers seat and buried myself in books. I missed some really beautiful scenery. I was moody and brooding as some teenagers do being confined with parents and a pesky brother.

Sounds like menopause! LOL I wish I could do it over again and enjoy the view...or maybe not. I've hated long car rides ever since.

Driving across states
pages turning, states a blur
plumes of gas floating

A home on wheels
crammed in a box, I can't breath
brother on last nerve

See other scenic routes here

Monday, August 07, 2006

Trying to Focus

Swelling is down and infection is being treated but a mass remains. A biopsy will be done tomorrow and we will know more. Manny has been pampered and spoiled in every possible way, which put this smile on his face. Mommy has been stressed and sad but since that effects my illness, I am thinking of all the happy times. I could not really find anything left for "Poetry Thursday" and " Sunday Scribblings." I did read many of them though and as usual they were fantastic!
Her royal highness was none too pleased that she was not the focus of our attention this week and has been sulking. When Manny gets his pills wrapped in cheese, Nikki gets cheese. When Manny won't eat neither will Nikki and when Manny drinks extra water because of drugs so does Nikki. Her bladder is much smaller...Grrrr!
Dave's birthday is the 13th and I got him tickets to see Randy Travis in concert, at an outdoor theatre, months ago. My best friend offered to watch Manny so we could go. I'm not a big fan of country music but I do watch American Idol. The opening act for Randy Travis was Carrie Underwood who had won that show. Dave really likes old country music and enjoyed the show. It was after he worked all day and comuted for four hours. It started at 8pm and we got home at 1:30am...you do the math. He really enjoyed it though and He even liked Carrie. Especially when she belted out her rendition of a Dolly Parton song called "Jolene" which happens to be the song that inspired him in naming his only child Jolene, 24yrs ago...too cool! I really enjoyed them both and each act had some goosebump moments. Carrie sang "Jesus take the wheel" with the audience swaying, their arms reaching for the sky waving their concert lights back and forth. Thousands of lights reaching for God in the dark was an awesome sight. I needed that moment! I even did the mosh thing when she belted out her own rendition of an old "Guns and Roses" tune and I'm sure I looked like I was having a seizure. Randy's closing song was a 911 song that ended with a HUGE American flag rolling down behind him...very cool!

This is the amphitheatre where the concert was held. It's a winery surrounded by gardens in the middle of nowhere. Very beautiful but not disabled friendly, which tired me out getting to our seats. I happen to get seats on the farthest side from the entrance and had to walk in front of lots of people on the journey...you know I just loved that:( They graciously called for a golf cart to escort me back to the car when the concert was over.

Thank you for all your Manny prayers and support:)

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Self Portrait Challenge-Enclosed Spaces

BACK SEAT COMPANION

I had to get my 16yr old dog to the vet this morning because his leg was swollen and he could barely walk. This is me in the back seat of my friend's car, comforting my best friend Manny. He has watched over me for so long, now it's my turn to watch over him. I'm terrified of losing him! The vet said cancer or a snake bite and we won't know until the swelling goes down. Drugs have already helped with the pain. I'm praying he comes out ok!