Friday, April 28, 2006

Unfinished Dreams

Sassy at reminded us all to remember our dreams from a time before we put our families before all else. I had to go way back, but it was worth the trip. Do you remember yours?

I wanted to travel to Austria and twirl on the hills, belting out "Sound of Music."

I wanted a close, loving family.
I wanted to get a degree in Psychology and work with adolescents.
I wanted to work in the Peace Corps for a summer.
I wanted to live in the mountains and ski when ever I wanted, feeling the rush of clean crisp air on my face.

I wanted to be healthy and live to be old.
I wanted a job I loved and paid the bills.
I wanted to adopt a child.

I wanted to see far away places.
I wanted to go where Jesus walked.
I wanted to try acting.
I wanted to keep my perky high school figure.
I wanted a ranch with lots of animals.

The rest came true!

Have a great weekend!

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Round Robin Photo Challenge- "Holy"

I think of God as most "Holy" but he refused to let me take a picture. I then thought of my daily chats with God and all the prayers he has answered in my life. Prayer is my view of the word "Holy." I staged a prayer, so as not to intrude on any prayers. My hubby was happy to be my "man in prayer." Since we are living proof of answers to prayer, I thought he would be perfect.

This topic was hard, but that's what made it fun. I finally got my new camera and I can't wait for the next challenge! Go visit the other entries, but give them a day to all post :)

Linking List: Robin... Search The Sea POSTED!Karen... Outpost Mavarin POSTED!Carly... Ellipsis...Suddenly Carly POSTED!Erika... Photographs Of My SoulTammy... The Daily WarriorJessica... QuickSilver DreamsPatrick... Patrick's PortfolioJulie... Julie's Web JournalSteven... (sometimes) photoblogConnie... Connie's Photo Pages POSTED!TJ... Photo Inclusions: Every Picture Tells A Story POSTED!Deslily... Here, There and Everywhere 2nd Edition POSTED!Here, There and Everywhere (AOL) POSTED!

Saturday, April 22, 2006

Spring is Finally Here!

Dave has a passion for gardening, these flowers are "the other women" in his life. He brings home more bulbs every year. He is so happy when he is planting in the soil. We have had a few days of sun, but now the rain is back...Grrrr! Next week spring will stay and summer will be on its heels.

I will finally get back to the gym and get some strength back. Dave will be painting the house for curb appeal, but the better we make this house the less I want to leave. I have added a slide show of Dave's flowers and new pictures in flickr to kick off spring. Now we can bring out the outdoor furniture, put the top on the gazebo, turn the fountain on and BBQ...Yeahhhh!

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Easter Celebrations


you see any resemblance? That's me at the same age as TK. I had a great day spoiling my grandson and I was able to figure out how I could feed him.

I spent the next two days of my four day weekend with a migraine. I'm really glad Dave was out of town, so I did not ruin his Easter.

My oldest came up at the end of the weekend and we had good time. I even got an Easter gift from her (fancy Hydrangea plant). I think that was a first! She is preparing for a trip to Thailand with a group of friends. One of her friends is from there, so I'm not too nervous. I sent her all over Europe with a high school group at 16, I took her to the Bahamas, Cabo San Lucas and she has been on a cruise all over Mexico with friends. I think she will love it!

Dave had fun, but came home exhausted :) I really missed him, but we talked everyday at least once. I sent him his favorite thing, fudge. He got some great shots of his grandsons. I made him a t-shirt with a picture of his daughter and grandsons on it. I decorated it in a Easter theme and Ethan age 4 loved seeing his picture on papa's shirt. Dave is doing jury duty today and is not a happy camper, but he is not commuting :)

Sunday, April 16, 2006

The Passing of a Hero

Pam at was one of the first journals I followed. Pam had lung cancer and journaled 287 days of living with cancer. She passed on Easter Sunday, her suffering is now over. She taught me what having cancer and it's treatment felt like in a detailed daily journal. Cancer is so much more to me because of Pam, she shared it all. She fought every step of the way with whit, humor and strength. She was a single mom with a 15 yr old daughter and a son in college. She was a true hero to me and I thank her for sharing her soul. God is smiling because he has yet another angel in heaven. My prayers are for all who loved her! You will be missed! Please visit this journal, I promise she will make you smile.

Friday, April 14, 2006

Happy Easter!

We hope you all have a wonderful Easter!

Tammy and Dave

Thursday, April 13, 2006

First Kiss - TJ's Challenge

My first make out party,
mom thinks there’s cake,
I wear my tight jeans,
eager to see him waiting.
Nerves make me babble,
I practiced on my pillow,
scared I have forgotten.
Will I be good?
Anticipation building,
he moves in,
lips touch,
too wet,
braces rough,

Tj asked us to write of our first kiss(if we wanted) and let us use her photo. Go see hers it's much more romantic. lol

Wikipedia Meme

This is a meme of events that happened on your birth date. I got the meme from

Three Historical Events

1789 - The United States Supreme Court and the position of Attorney General are established
1869 - "Black Friday": Gold prices plummet as Jay Gould and James Fisk plot to control the market.
1957 - President Dwight D. Eisenhower sends United States National Guard troops to Little Rock, Arkansas, to enforce desegregation

Two Births
1896 - F. Scott Fitzgerald, American novelist (d. 1940)
1936 - Jim Henson, American puppeteer (d. 1990)

One Death
1991 - Dr. Seuss, American children's writer (b. 1904)

Many creative and strong people...Hmmm :)

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Round Robin Photo Challenge


This is my 1st grandchild "TK" or Tuni Kitkawu (Mi-Wuk for Young blood). I was told I would not live to see my children graduate high school. The ALS( Lou Gehrig's) is progressive and has no cure, yet I'm still here. I saw them graduate, I married my dream guy and now there is my TK. I cannot lift him, feed him or change him, but I'm his grandma. I can love him, kiss him and still talk to him. I have been given a "new life." TK is a gift that keeps me a warrior :)

Sassy choose "new life" Go see the others!

Sassy... Sassy's EYEKaren... Outpost MâvarinCarly... Ellipsis...Suddenly CarlyJulie... Julie's Web JournalErika... Photographs Of My SoulSara... Animated SeasonsKimberleigh... I Shaved My Legs For This?Pat... Here, There and Everywhere 2nd Editionand Here,There, and EverywhereValorie... Keeping Our Human Mother On Her Toesand Retrospect USAPatrick... Patrick's PortfolioDerek... Derek's Picture Of The Dayand Through My EyesTess... First Digital Photos Phinney... ParagonCeleste... My Day And Thoughtsand My Day, My ThoughtsJessica... QuickSilver DreamsSteven... (sometimes)photoblog

Monday, April 10, 2006

A Date with Beauty and the Beast

We should be experiencing temperatures in the seventies in CA, but instead we are being hit by one storm after another. I cut my hair, got the pedicure and I still have not seen the inside of the gym. It could be worse, my friend Mike lives on Kauai and got 35" of rain in March alone...Yikes! There is an upside to a rainy spring and that is romance! Dave and I have spent wonderful quality time together, while being stuck at home. He has actually started to relax and take life slower. I keep saying "welcome to my world" and he gets it. He is however getting overwhelmed with backed up projects.

I bought tickets for my daughter and I to see the musical "Beauty and the Beast" after my grandson was born. It was suppose to be a "I'm proud of you" gesture. As the months went by and I had not heard from Jess, I asked Dave to go. He had remembered taking his daughter to see the animated movie and buying her the Belle costume, but could not recall the story. I thought maybe the tickets initiated Jess to call me, but she never mentioned it. That made me feel better, but I had already asked Dave and it was too soon for Jess and I.

We had front row seats, which allowed us to see the little girls in their "belle" costumes and pretty dresses with bows in their hair. We smiled as they walked by, being instructed by mom how they had to be very quiet. It felt like Easter Sunday at church. The play was spectacular! The costumes were unbelievable and so were the sets. I watched the play, Dave's joy and the 7 year old's face next to me the whole time. We laughed, smiled and got choked up...ok, I cried :) Dave and I were so happy afterwards, we decided to try a new restaurant. I normally am uncomfortable eating in public, but it was just before the dinner crowd. I always feel like a messy four year old who needs her food cut. People stare out of curiosity only, but I get self-conscious. This time we had the place to ourselves. We feasted on corn chowder, Cajun flat steak, salmon with red pepper pesto, chocolate peanut butter moose and gourmet coffee. A great date!

Dave is leaving for WA on Friday to spend Easter with his grandson's Ethan 4 & Dimitri 1yr 2mos. They are the cutest kids! I will miss him more than usual after all the time we have spent together this long winter. I'm glad he's going though, they grow so fast. It's hard being a long distance grandparent because you miss so much. I have learned that the hard way! We are not close to each others daughters, but we totally respect each others time with our kids. We have both made the efforts and sacrifices needed to show our children we love them. The kids are happy for our happiness, but still have a hard time with their parent leaving the nest. I thought that worked the other way around? LOL Time away can be a good thing, I appreciate my man all the more! I have always given up holidays to my ex and having had been single for 13yrs I don't mind as much. Easter has always been about Jesus to me, but now I have a grandson I will once again get into egg dying and baskets.

I will miss the way Dave wakes in the night to make sure I'm covered. I will miss coffee together in bed, while watching Tivo. How he watches over me. The many hugs and kisses. I will just miss him.

Thursday, April 06, 2006

Look Who I'm Holding...

My grandson is back! YEAH! AMEN! I spent five hours staring into his eyes, reminding him how much I loved him. I kissed his cheeks, neck, tummy, hands, chubby thighs and feet. My eyes never left his face. He is such a good, happy and mellow lil man.

Yes, I had a nice long, tough talk with his mom. She missed me terribly and vowed to regain my trust. She loved my poem about her "The Power You Hold." It was my pain and anger at her, but she had no idea I could write. Hehehe What a compliment!

Can you say "HAPPY CAMPER"? Thank you God!

Saturday, April 01, 2006

The Power They Hold

I am in the process of working on forgiveness and patience with my children. My oldest is finally hearing me and showing promising signs of growth. Our bond has always been strong, but when I married she became a stranger. She tried to punish me, but I stood my ground. I hate manipulation and called her on it so she could see the pain she was inflicting. In my youngest, she took manipulation to new heights by using her son. She has major entitlement issues and has taken advantage of many people who cared about her. I stood my ground and lost.

"Forgiveness is about the past and trust is about the future."

I have put my anger and pain into a poem. It is full of raw emotion. I was going to just keep it for me, but when I try to be creative these feelings keep interrupting every poem. I'm setting my feelings free.

The Power You Hold

You wield your new born power
like a mighty sword, recklessly
slicing up hearts from those who care.
They bow at your feet just for a look
at the power you hold. You take your
stance as an all knowing warrior, needing
nothing now that your will has been done.

On the field there is but one who stood
beside you and taught you all you would
need. You have turned on your teacher
as she pleads at your folly. Don't turn on
your people, they mean you no harm.

You raise your mighty sword, she knows
what is to come. She lays your choices at
your feet, too weak to fight in your battles.
You take your sword and slice through her
heart, leaving nothing but memories.

You no longer needed her, but somewhere
in your heart you know what you have done.
The power you hold so dear will leave you
one day, will he spare you when you speak
your truth, or leave you bleeding on the
battlefield with your time not yet done.