One Deep Breath - "Mystery" Yugen

"Yugen... describes a sense of mystery over the universe. [It] also deals with noticing the vastness of the universe in comparison to the minute nature of human existence...." -Kristin Boryca

Sky canvas, framed light
clouds swirl colors; day to night
portrait of brilliance

Dave took this off our back deck of our new home and even though all the pictures turned out too dark I managed to lighten this one.

To see other "Yugen" haiku go here

It's Great to Get Away!

The realtor gave us bad news on Tuesday about our current house. We have a lot more work to do on it and we still won't get what we want in price. I decided we could still have our dream of moving, but we needed to down size the dream. Dave is not yet convinced, so our trip was great timing.
I had an agenda this trip and that was to convince Dave that we can do this and throw in some fun too. Dave was a focused, all work, stress ball so I whined like a five year old to go out and play!


He loved his country fried steak and my pecan waffles at the Buttercup Pantry.

We stopped by Apple Hill for caramel apples the size of my head and fresh apple juice. That's me with the "bed head" eating my apple while watching kids catch trout :)

Nikki and Manny got to play in the lake near our new house. The little white sh** actually just watched in her warm Packer jersey:) Manny swam for the stick like he was a pup again! He looks good for having cancer!

Dave managed to get a lot done on the house despite being there with two dogs and a five year old wife. I managed to stay out of his hair by reading two FANTASTIC books ; Marley & Me and My Sister's Keeper. On our way home we took the LONG route to see Hope Valley in its Fall glory. It was stunning, but a 4hr car ride made that five year olds butt numb!

I'm off to the Mountains!

My bag is packed and I'm on my way to watch Dave work his butt off. Speaking of butts, I hope I packed my long underwear ;) See ya Sunday!

Self Portrait Challenge- "Imperfections"

I had Lynne take a few shots for an updated profile picture and being a 45 year old women I found too many flaws, so I chose one and deleted the rest. When it came time to do this challenge I pulled up a deleted picture. I wanted to do the "imperfection boycott" and find the beauty in a shot I disliked. I looked real hard but I over analyzed it to the point of saying to myself, no flipping way! I saw my need for a cut and color, not to mention my "Italian" nose and I just over-analyzed myself out of the idea. Don't get me wrong I like the way I look, just not from the side in dire need of a cut and color. My real imperfection is being too analytical.

I analyzed my dilemma only to decide I needed a different picture. LOL Then with further contemplation I decided to go with it and use it as an illustration. I over think just about everything and it has been a problem throughout my life. I analyze myself out of relationships, read more into a conversation than there is and have trouble making decisions. I even over analyze the stupid word verification on blogger. Is that an "m" ? No, maybe two "n's" close together? Hmmm. I'm rarely right the first time...grrr! On the other hand, it has also helped me make many good decisions and weed out toxic people before they can suck me in. It's an imperfection I refuse to give up and embrace it as just another part of me;)

One Deep Breath - "Simple Pleasures"

Dima 20 months
Ethan 5 years

My Backward Fibs (1+1+2+3+5+8)

Laughter of children make hearts sing
smiles filled with light
innocence
wonder
hope
joy

Distance make grandsons grow too fast
pictures measure growth
chats on phone
so far
miss
you

These are Dave's grandsons, Dimitri and Ethan, who live in Washington. The pictures and phone calls are never enough because they grow so fast! Dave can't wait to hold them on the next visit :)

For other haiku of simple pleasures visit here

Sunday Scribbling - "If I could stop time"

The prompt for this week has made my little finger peck at warp speed! What would you do if you could stop time? And if you could choose a super power what would it be? I’m assuming this does not mean stop time forever but for as long as it takes to catch up in our lives. Perfect timing for my temporarily out of control life.

Things I’d like more time for is to read, write my story, have more time with Manny (my sick Lab) and travel. My days are wide open and I’m alone from 4:00am until 5:30pm. I even have a housekeeper every other week, so why would I need time? Why do I choose strength as my super power? Simple tasks are time consuming for me, like straightening up, making the bed, blogging and taking a shower fill an average day. Blogging and showering takes up most of my day and energy but it’s important to push myself. Reading can tire the eye muscles but I have prisms in my reading glasses to help. I lift weights when Dave gets home for safety and because I can rest in bed afterwards. Strength would allow me to get more of what I love done and time stopping would allow me to delay the pain of losing a special friend and keep my grandson on my lap a little longer. I need strength and time for just seven more months and then check back :)
When Dave and I married we knew our journey would be a roller coaster of emotional and physical ups and downs. We had a simple game plan that in theory would make our journey a less bumpy ride. After we married, we sold his house to pay off mine, signed up for a better medical plan and paid off all debt. It was an essential plan so Dave could retire early and we could have more time together. With ALS time is not taken for granted and his 4-hour commute is very unhealthy. When you retire at fifty you do not get full retirement income so we were saving for a safe, stress free life.

Then one day we were feeling a bit over confidant and decided to buy our dream house, by a lake, in the mountains while prices were still in our price range. We thought we could sell mine for what we paid for the new one, pay on two mortgages(one for the down payment) and fix them both up in two years. The gamble has us stressed because the housing market stayed level and the price of my house did not go up. Dave has been fixing one house to sell, the other to live in, maintaining two yards, savings are dwindling and time’s running out! If time stood still and I had my strength back I could help him. Instead I watch the stress eat away at his spirit. We can’t help thinking we wanted too much and gave up two years of quality time on a gamble. Time is up in 7mos and we might have to cut our losses and sell the new house. Our thoughts are if it’s meant to be it will happen.

I guess the best use of time is being present when we are together and do the best we can.

This Week's Updates

Busy week filled with really great things and really bad things! I need a vacation so Dave, my dogs, a few good books and I will be sneaking off to the new house. I'll be gone Wed. thru Sat. relaxing and supervising Daves painting. LOL

Manny, my 17yr old lab's spider bite turned out to be cancer after all. I once again prepared to say goodbye to my best friend. Manny, however had a different plan. He does not want to leave me until God calls him home. The tumor has shrunk yet again and the vet said he is one tough pup! It was touch and go over the weekend trying to keep food down (thank you Dave) but he's rallied back. He will enjoy the lake :)

My gym cancelled PT in the pool and I am pissed! Money and politics will keep the elderly at home instead of using their bodies and socializing. I am moving but what will happen to my pool buddies? Dave has taken over as my trainer with weights at home. He doesn't trust me to not procrastinate :) Moi?

This is a computer painting done by my friend Pam. I met her through the ALS site and she has ALS. Before ALS struck her hands she used brushes to create beautiful art and now she has the computer. I will be keeping Pam's art at the top of my sidebar from now on because beauty is meant to be shared. I'm nagging her to blog because she is also a poet and has so much spunk and wisdom to share :)

TK Thursday's are becoming quite the workout :) At 9mos he is much more animated and heavy. He shakes his head no, he wants to patty cake constantly and likes grabbing my honker :) When he is on the ground he's off to the races looking for a place to pull up and stand. He now has two teeth and says mama and dada, but no gramy yet :(
Thank goodness for bottle time! My daughter and I are even bonding through these visits. She sees me differently as I pour my love onto TK. She brings me lunch and keeps my toes cut, a job Dave hates. We watch Tivo chick dramas and talk while watching TK.

This time he wore me out so all three of us went down for a nap. As I drifted off to sleep, I felt my daughter watching us, then she joined us putting her hand on mine. Hanky please!