Thankful Thursday!

Surgery was a piece of cake! I recommend no anesthesia, if possible, to everyone. Dave was not allowed to be with me and since they treated it like a regular surgery it was intimidating and scary at first. IV, oxygen, monitors, operating room, masks, bright lights and 4 people. Overkill, in my uneducated opinion, for what actually took 20min. I'm sure alot of it was procedure and the rest was uncertainty of my ALS. The "happy shot" was just to relax me and I was given a small amount. I didn't want to be groggy and be kept in the recovery room long. I refused the screen between the surgery and my face because it was just too suffocating. I saw smoke rising over my breast and did need a couple extra shots of the local due to feeling some of it. We chatted and joked through it all due to no pain. They don't use bandages anymore but instead use Durabond (superglue) which protects the stitches from rubbing against clothes and is waterproof. Very cool! I got dressed and walked out the minute I was unhooked. Why can't a root canal be this easy? I didn't even have after pain and it's an inch long incision. :)

Dave's retirement was really nice and he even made a speech. Oct 1st would have been twenty five years at the national lab. We died my hair the night before and due to advancing grey I looked like Ronald McDonald...oh well! I got to experience his 4hr commute...yuck! It was neat however to see his office and pictures spread out on his desk. The people there were so nice and said Dave talks about me all the time...awww! I have pictures but they are not here yet. I stayed out of the sun so my hair wouldn't glow. No cameras allowed on site but they had a lab camera. Dave turns big 50 on Monday, his retirement date, but he pushed his retirement up to Sep. 14th. He has a job interview the morning of his birthday here in town and if it's a fit he can leave the lab earlier. My surgeon's father-in-law is coming in two weeks to see the house...yay!

Pam is having her 65th birthday on Friday! HAPPY BIRTHDAY PAM! See you in October! We both have headsets and use Yahoo PC to PC chat, allowing us to really talk, conserve energy and have no long distance charges. Who knew?
http://capeandtights.blogspot.com/ .

Beauty and the Beast

Dave's begonias are so bright I need shades to look at them. :)

When I met Dave I had this very cool "alternating pressure mattress pad." It had diamonds that would alternately fill with air during sleep. This allowed me to remain a side sleeper and not awaken to sore pressure points. Dave said it felt like there was something creepy under the covers, not to mention the mattress sighs and raised me above my husband in bed.

When we married he bought a fancy Sleepnumber bed that made the pad obsolete...yayy! It has massage and the head and feet can be raised. After 3 good years it's no longer enough, so we are back to sleeping with the sighing creeper. I'm loving it, but Dave and my animals have some adjusting to do. A week ago it was the mattress and slippery bubbles that caused me to fall out of bed. I hit the nightstand with my head and my thigh hit a make-shift step. Here is the beast that resulted in my own adjustment period. The butt of my Ebay joke from previous post. What do you see Joyce? LOL (7 days old)

Thanks for the prayers and good thoughts for my "awake" surgery. I had a fibroid taken out awake in 1983 while pregnant with my first baby and no "happy shot." I'm alot tougher now and know what to expect, not to mention I have no smell for the cauterizing part. I'll be fine!

Sunday Scribbling - "Decisions"

With all our balls up in the air, my recent fall, a suspect mass in my breast and a two day migraine, I find myself unusually calm. I decided we have made some great decisions but our timing was just off and it will right itself. My decision to go on a trip in the middle of our chaos is pulling me through it all. Dave is now wishing he was going after seeing the pictures of New England but he would not be able to relax with so many changes coming.

I made another big decision for myself this week at my surgeon's appointment. I was sent to a new surgeon in our county and I liked her immediately. My first question was had she bought a house yet? I explained my unusual outburst and she laughed saying "I did, but my retired father n law from Texas is looking to re-locate here." I said "boy, have I got a deal for you." She saw my huge black/blue bruise and I said "if you look closely you can see the face of Jesus" and she quickly replied "we need to get you up on Ebay." My kinda gal!

She explained that my mass is not a fibroid but instead it's a cluster of cysts attached to a suspect lining. It needed to be surgically removed and biopsied. I told her that I get really sick with anesthesia and I asked if she would remove it with me awake. I also asked if she could do it before Dave retires. She asked me if I was sure and then agreed, scheduling me in for this Wednesday...yikes! She offered me a "happy shot" and to drain my other numerous cysts while I'm there. Again, my kind of woman! It would be really cool if she sold my house too. ;)

Yes, I'm nervous but the decision was mine and I know I can do it. Dave said he will come hold my hand but he refuses to look. lol I told him to get a picture for my blog and you should have seen his face. lol She said the mass was so small that if it is cancer it will be gone after surgery. Everything is back in working order but I got a headset for PC to PC chatting on Yahoo. Tuesday is Dave's retirement bash and Wednesday is surgery so I'll be baacck!

Photo is from stockxpert

Crazy Daze of Summer

I have had the honor of receiving The Reflection Award by Sherrie at http://happytiler.blogspot.com/ AKA Giggles. When I read Sherrie's words I can feel her heart and I have always felt she was a kindred spirit. She is someone you would want in your foxhole and her taste in music and color ROCKS! I'm thrilled she thought of me.

I'll will nominate 5 bloggers that are an encouragement, a source of love, impact me in some way and who has provided a Godly example. In other words, five cherished bloggers whom, when you reflect upon them, you are filled with a sense of pride and joy.

Pam at http://capeandtights.blogspot.com/ is my biggest source of love and encouragement because she really gets life with ALS. I'm so proud of her spirit and will to fight. Not to mention her art and poetry is beautiful.

Star at http://thefriendliestflower.blogspot.com/ has taught me to see beauty in things around me that I was missing. She is a loving soul that makes you yearn to sit and just chat with her. I love her simplistic look at life and the beauty she sees. I'm drawn to her beautiful writing and poetry style.

Tink at http://tinkerart.typepad.com/tinker_art/ simply puts a smile on my face with each post. She is so funny that if I'm having a bad day I start with Tink's blog. It's almost better than coffee. lol I'm proud to have her art hanging at my desk each day and I smile thinking of her.

Becca at http://beccasbyline.blogspot.com/ teaches me how to be a better writer by taking me along on her own journey. Her comments always lift me up and keep me trying. I can't wait to buy her first book. :)

Patrick at http://journals.aol.com/daddyleer/CaregivinglyYours/ gives me hope that love can conquer all as he writes about his roll as a husband, father and caregiver. Amazing man!

Place the icon on your blog, write a blurb about each one, and then notify them about their award!


I had to have a second mammogram of a "suspicious mass" found at the nipple area. It's never pleasant to have that flattened into a THIN pancake! Then I was whisked away for an ultra sound only to have that area uncomfortably probed, over and over. I was told it is a good sign it hurts because cancer don't hurt...whatever! While typing this I found out it is an abnormal mass and I see a surgeon Thursday...geesh! I'm guessing a fibroid tumor (non-cancer).

I took a fall this weekend that really shook me up, but mostly scared Dave. The crash was loud and I cried on impact but only out of fear, not pain. Dave ran in and saw blood and instinctively lifted me roughly to my feet, wishing me OK, instead of checking first. lol Once up and noticing nothing was broken my job became reassuring Dave. Still in shock mode there was no pain so I said "lets eat breakfast it's getting cold." While eating Dave watched my precious blog finger get blue and swell. That's when I freaked "not my blogging finger!" I said it's Sunday Scribble day, so I forced it into action...whew! That was close! ;) He came home from the grocery store with silly putty and a squishy light ball to work my other fingers. He felt I needed a back-up blog finger. He is the best! I'm bruised and sore but my spirits are high knowing I have Dave.

The best part of the week was my day with TK. We dressed up to go to the movies but his mom felt he might not want to stay in his seat...yikes! We decided having lunch and watching "Happy Feet" at my house was a much better idea.

I loved his new outfit and spiked hair!

No I don't dress up to workout but my daughter wanted a demo, so she took a picture for you guys. I'll be a buff cookie by October 1st when I fly to Maine to see Pam in Vermont. Thanks to all the bloggers in New England for emailing attractions along our route. Pam also had a fall this week but is mending well. We both have matching left thigh bruises, see we are soul sisters. lol We vowed no more falling this year!

No house or job nibbles near home yet but Dave's having a retirement BBQ on the 7th, on site. I must be badged to go but I'm excited to meet his co-workers after his being there almost 25yrs. If no job offers he will stay at his old job until he gets one. We are not as stressed because he will get a job eventually, he has one until he gets another and next spring might be a better sellers market. It's still a bummer but not forever.

Sunday Scribbling - "Phenomenon"

I'm pretty sure the biggest phenomenon that has changed my life is blogging. Before I caught on to this "latest thing" I was a housebound, disabled, water aerobic, soap watcher. Most of my friends from my childhood lived far away and my "country" friends had jobs. I had inadvertently isolated myself from the world while seeking out a slower way of life. I also did not think I had a creative bone in my body, so computer technology was zipping right past me.

If you had told me that I would be writing poetry and letting complete strangers read it, I'd swear you had been smoking something. I learned to express the words that filled my heart and see a new world through the lens of a camera. Oh, I can't forget the part that I can say what ever I want and show off my grandson. :) My world grew into a much happier place, full of strangers I now think of as friends, creativity and filled with the power of words. Because of blogging I will brave cross country travel and meet my female cape crusader, batman ( Pam, a fellow ALS warrior). Not to mention two bloggers I have found close to my new home.

I have seen bloggers share pain, art, death and illness. They are embraced, encouraged and cared about. I've seen writers get published, artists open up shops and children shared and celebrated. I see blogs that now sway politics and because of their many voices, I have seen and learned much more than my local news could ever alert me to. I'm not speaking of MySpace when I refer to blogging, although I'm sure there are great MySpace pages. I'm talking about real people who publicly share their real lives in hopes of making a difference or leaving a legacy.

I got an email from a lady who said she knew me as a baby and was my mom and dad's old neighbors. They said they found me on my blog, but I could not figure out how, since that was two last names ago. It was actually very easy to find me and it turns out he used to work with my husband Dave (small world!). They knew each other until he retired a few years ago. From my blog they learned mom was gone now, where my dad is and that baby they knew is now 46. They found me by googling my mother's name and got my post on mother's day from 2005. Makes you wonder who reads our blogs that we don't even know and never will. Big brother? Nah, TK and my poetry is not that interesting. lol

It's not such a small world after all if we can reach out across the world and connect in unimaginable ways. Blogging can be a wonderful tool if the government, fanatics and the loonies stay out of our way. Blogging makes the world a smaller place and contributes to sharing, learning and tolerance.

My blogging finger has good blogging manners, but at 46 I do have trouble remembering who has left a nice comment, so pardon me if I ever miss your kindness. I really do care about the people who have encouraged me and touched my life. Thank you!

The photo is from Screenshot-Michael Bretherton

Poetry Thursday - Gladiolas

Gladiolas

The gladiolas wait patiently

wrapped lovingly within

showing their rumbled

slips giving away secrets of

delicate color through

spirals of green, rising tall.

They hesitate in their bloom

to a world that doesn't

seem to notice the dangers,

or fears of an earthly death,

but today, this year,

their bravery

emerges like a child

as it unfurls its brilliance

with blinding color.

The sun beats them down,

bending, from its glare

shining through the bloom

unknowingly revealing true

beauty and strength.

They drink in my tears

lifting heads to the sky,

defying its intensity

of human folly.

They sway in joy,

as the hummingbirds flit

in a dance of feeding flirtation,

delighting in their sustenance.

What will become of them-

next July as the heat gets

hotter, cold gets colder

and earth begins to falter?

I've been watching my glads struggle this year due to an unusual winter and sweltering summer. I watch the hummingbirds dance around the survivors and it made me ponder global warming. I used my fear of the unknown to be my muse.

Sunday Scribblings - "Wicked"

This is my married, 23yr old daughter, Michelle. When she hit 14 life became a roller coaster ride than neither of us will ever forget. We each remember those hormonal years differently but the mother and daughter issues will go down in family history. Was she wicked? Nah, just angry.

At 14 she joined the boys wrestling team because it brought her closer to her dad. He coached her high school team and he loved wrestling. Michelle was 4'11" and had an athletic body with 36D breasts, which was not the norm. This was not a popular choice of sport for her with her peers, teammates, opponents or MOM. Her anger started building from being teased, yelled at by dad and shunned by the girls. I caught the fallout and yet still had to keep her on the straight and narrow with rules. She took third at state in the woman's division but with her accomplishments came an aggressive nature with a potty mouth. Wicked? Nah, she was wanting acceptance.

Over time I became afraid of my daughter's temper. I never believed she would hurt me physically but she exhausted me by not accepting no and the boundaries of my illness. My kids don't remember me being healthy and grew up learning to be self-sufficient. They hated it and would often play the "Cinderella" sympathy card with anyone who would listen. I had a housekeeper and gardener so they didn't do much more than my generation. Their friends, however, had little to no responsibilities, so my kids felt over worked and under appreciated. Michelle wanted to be liked and do all the cool things, but me and my illness was holding her back. Wicked? Nah, to be expected.

Fast forward to a 23 year old married Michelle with many wonderful qualities. The anger is still there lurking beneath the surface. I'm still not able to relax around her completely due to her emotional outbursts, but she is my daughter and I love her. Last night she warned me that she MIGHT be pregnant and because I know her best, she was nervous to tell me. I did a fine job of letting her know what a blessing a life is and how could I be anything but happy. I did mention that until she knows she must not smoke anything. I had to be me or she would have asked if it was really me on the phone. lol Maybe it will soften her? To be really honest my first thought was I hoped she would have a daughter. Wicked? You betcha baby!

To be continued...