Saturday, April 01, 2006

The Power They Hold

I am in the process of working on forgiveness and patience with my children. My oldest is finally hearing me and showing promising signs of growth. Our bond has always been strong, but when I married she became a stranger. She tried to punish me, but I stood my ground. I hate manipulation and called her on it so she could see the pain she was inflicting. In my youngest, she took manipulation to new heights by using her son. She has major entitlement issues and has taken advantage of many people who cared about her. I stood my ground and lost.

"Forgiveness is about the past and trust is about the future."

I have put my anger and pain into a poem. It is full of raw emotion. I was going to just keep it for me, but when I try to be creative these feelings keep interrupting every poem. I'm setting my feelings free.

The Power You Hold

You wield your new born power
like a mighty sword, recklessly
slicing up hearts from those who care.
They bow at your feet just for a look
at the power you hold. You take your
stance as an all knowing warrior, needing
nothing now that your will has been done.

On the field there is but one who stood
beside you and taught you all you would
need. You have turned on your teacher
as she pleads at your folly. Don't turn on
your people, they mean you no harm.

You raise your mighty sword, she knows
what is to come. She lays your choices at
your feet, too weak to fight in your battles.
You take your sword and slice through her
heart, leaving nothing but memories.

You no longer needed her, but somewhere
in your heart you know what you have done.
The power you hold so dear will leave you
one day, will he spare you when you speak
your truth, or leave you bleeding on the
battlefield with your time not yet done.


emmapeelDallas said...

WD Snodgrass said a daughter is a needle of the heart...and he was right. This is a beautiful poem. You are right to stand your ground, and I know that you are a wonderful mother...I hope both girls come to their senses soon.



Chris said...

wow. just wow.

Tammy, this is an incredible incredible incredible poem. I can't wait for Alexis to read it.

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betty said...

(((Tammy))) because I know where this is coming from, I know how hard this must hurt. This was beautifully written; thanks for sharing it.

Congrats for getting mentioned in Deb (Sassy's) journal for great journals (she was AOL guest editor this week)

you are an inspiring woman

tara dawn said...

Tammy, this moves me so deeply. I am so proud of you for finding the inner courage to share this raw emotion with the world, to put it out there and set it free. You are right…if we do not set our feelings free, they will continue to haunt our spirit and our creativity. I can only imagine how difficult all of this is for you…just know that I am always here, to listen and support you. You are a true warrior, Tammy, and a true inspiration to me. If I was there, I would wrap you in a big hug and hold you until the pain lessened. Since I cannot be there physically, know that you are in my heart every day.
I love you,

doc-t said...

seems i've been working on forgiveness my whole life... sometimes it seems like the most difficult of things to do...

but it ALWAYS feels like a load off my heart when i get there...

Recently I wrote a pair of books.. there is an incident where the father tries to explain to his very young son about forgiveness... i wonder if you'd be interested in reading it?

TJ said...

[On the field there is but one who stood
beside you and taught you all you would
need. You have turned on your teacher
as she pleads at your folly.]
I cried...serious tears. Maybe I needed this poem.
I have seriously sat for two days wondering WHY is love for our children so painfully twisted once they find it can be a tool?
Sadly I embrace your poem.
Love to you,

V said...

Aw, Warrior. This is wonderful!
Thanks for publishing it!

Gabreael said...

Awww forgiveness....... Many a song has been written on the subject.


Bedazzzled1 said...

You continue to astound me by the way you communicate your thoughts and feelings.

Such an excellent idea for you to release your pain through poetry.

::hugs, my awe-inspiring friend::

paisley said...

this bears the scars of those things we can only be taught in hindsight... it is eloquently written,, and i hope you shared it with your daughter,, or plan to some day......